Podcast Episode #1
[00:00:00] Happy July. We are over six months through the year. And so today I wanted to talk about gratitude and about what I've learned from 591 days of writing down. The five things I'm grateful for every single morning, or I'm going to say every morning in the terms of, I have missed a day here and there.
[00:00:30] Not too many, it's surprising, but But I wanted to share some things I've noticed, especially as for many of us life is getting is starting to return to normal a bit, especially after the extreme shutdowns. And I hope that it is where you are. And so I wanted to just share because I have been.
[00:00:57] Doing this practice for that many [00:01:00] days. And I have three of my journals here. There's another one I'm working on right now. And another one when that I couldn't find but I did want to share some of my insights because I do believe that it is one of the most powerful practices that you can.
[00:01:20] Take on in having your life for creating a more extraordinary life. And so I wanted to share What I have learned and what I've noticed in how it's changed different aspects of my life. So I started I started doing this on October 28th, 2019, which in some ways seems forever ago just because of what the world has gone through since since about.
[00:01:54] Four or five months after I started this practice. And so here [00:02:00] are the things that I've noticed. There's really, I'm going to go through three categories. Here. So the first one is that many of the things that I write down that I'm grateful for are relational. So they either have to do with my kids or with my husband or with friends or important people in my life, like my yoga teacher or my swim coach, those kinds of things.
[00:02:33] And so what I've noticed I'll start with the relational things with my husband is what I've really noticed is that it has. It has changed our relationship quite a lot for the better, because I'm focusing on the good things that are happening with us. The time that we're spending together and maybe just who he is.
[00:02:59] It [00:03:00] really even though I'm not necessarily sharing what I've written with him and honestly honestly I'm not sharing my journal with really anybody, I guess I'm sharing it with you now. It really does create a shift. And by in me, by focusing on the good things and the positive things, it actually becomes a habit.
[00:03:23] To see the good things and the positive things. And instead of looking at the negative things, and I remember when I used to teach childbirth classes, one of the things that I had, the people in my classes do, they did an exercise where they wrote down five things, they appreciated about their partners, and then they could do one thing that, that maybe needed improvement.
[00:03:50] And the idea was, is that any time. They thought of something that they wanted to change that first they did those other five things. So [00:04:00] that's made a huge difference in. In how we relate. And especially as of this filming or video, my daughter just turned 18 and she'll be going off to college in a couple months.
[00:04:15] And my son is 14 and a half entering high school this year. And so he'll be gone in four years. And as much as my kids have been to such a huge part of my life, They're going off to their own lives. And I know just from experience with my daughter, that my son entering high school and I can start to see it.
[00:04:38] He wants to do his own things. And so it's really important, even though we won't technically be empty nesters for another four years. It's important that we really build that relationship that's around us and not just the kids. And it also just shows alignment because I [00:05:00] also write down my 10 dreams for 10 years from now as if they had already happened.
[00:05:06] And when the very first thing is that I want to be an extraordinary wife. So if I'm doing those two things together and noticing the positive in our relationship and writing that down it's all building that momentum. So that works with my kids as well. Just noticing the things that they're doing right.
[00:05:29] And not just, the things that they need to like maybe clean up after themselves a little bit more. I'm just really trying to appreciate, especially with my daughter going away. At the end of the summer to the other side of the country from the west coast of the United States. Oh my goodness.
[00:05:51] My dogs always start making noises anyway. So just, instead of it can be irritating to have, [00:06:00] the cleaning the late nights or all those things. But if I can focus on. The positives of our relationship, then it really does help. And then even with my son we got to spend quite a bit of time, just the two of us in the last few weeks, and really deciding that it's more important to, to spend that time to focus on just him because he's not.
[00:06:30] He's not always going to want that time with me. And and at some point he'll be gone too. So that was one of those things. And just, the coaches, my swim coach has been in my life for 30 years almost. And my yoga teacher. Yeah. Probably, I don't know, 13 or 14 years. So really just appreciating those people, especially since honestly I haven't been able, to see them in person.
[00:06:57] I have been able to see my swim coach because [00:07:00] we have an ocean and that's something that can be distanced. But not my yoga teacher just, online like this. So that's one of the, that, that's a huge Part of gratitude is relationship relational. The second thing is to just focusing on what I do have and focusing that I do have a roof over my head more on that later.
[00:07:22] I don't right now but just focusing on. That I do have a home that I enjoy. I do have my health and it's funny, like one of the first things, and I will try not to get teary here, but one of the first things that I wrote in this, my very first when I was doing this practice is having a healthy family and this was, see, I'm going to do it.
[00:07:50] This was before. We all became a lot more grateful for staying healthy. And then just having my family, even my [00:08:00] dogs, I love what my dogs bring to me and that they get me out for walks and hikes on days where I might get a little lazy if I was just doing it for myself. And just all those things that do bring me joy and that I am grateful to have because there's The, depending on how you look at it if you're not grateful for what you have then why should they, you never serve God or however you want to phrase it.
[00:08:32] Why should you be given more? Because, we always want more of some, more of something we want our lives to continually improve. And then the last one is just when you are doing that gratitude practice, you learn to frame things in a positive way. If something that, might be considered, bad is happening or inconvenient is happening, you can easily.
[00:08:59] [00:09:00] Differently. What I referred to earlier is that actually we're having our house. Reroofed and we're dating it probably a few years sooner than we really needed to accept that we had really bad fires here in California and actually very nearby last August and September. And where there were some, embers and things landing on roofs from the fire, a few, a mile or two away.
[00:09:31] And so we have a wooden roof and right now, It's there. They're about done with the demo part so that we can put a type of metal refund, which will be great. It's, it is inconvenient and it's taken a lot of work. And it was supposed to start two weeks ago. And so I arranged to be out of town and, as these things go.
[00:09:55] It happened right after we got back into town. But just being [00:10:00] grateful, I'm grateful that that we have a home because I have friends that don't after the fire. Let's see, okay. Like this. And and I'm grateful that we can re refer house just financially and that there are materials available that are not flammable.
[00:10:22] And and it is, I could enjoy being away more because I wasn't worried about what was happening here. And And it is it's, it's better to be here when work is being done on your house. So just, that's just an example of reframing that in convenience of it's quiet now, but it was pretty noisy for two days with them ripping the roof off the house.
[00:10:44] So those are just some examples and. And I did want to share this. So this is a gratitude practice and I plan on continuing it. Somebody, a mentor that I follow David Nagel, he was talking about gratitude and he [00:11:00] said, I actually don't have a gratitude a morning gratitude practice anymore. And he said, because he did it for so long, then it really became part of who he was.
[00:11:08] So he lives in gratitude and he doesn't do the, writing it down part anymore. Which is awesome. So that is that I just wanted to share this because I think that if you can find things to be grateful for as, as life is somewhat returning or coming to this new normal I think that. You know that it does create more room for joy and for living an extraordinary life.
[00:11:43] And in the notes in the blog, I will link to some previous articles that I did on gratitude. That goes more into some of the particulars of the benefits. [00:12:00] And otherwise I will see you in here next week. I hope you like this new format. I'm trying the video slash blog for a while and enjoy your summer or your winter, if that's what it is for you are.
[00:12:16] All right. Bye. And take care.