Podcast Episode #2
[00:00:00] Crystal Obregon: Hi there. This is crystal with crystal Obregon coaching, and I hope you're liking this new format. You can watch the video, listen to it, or or just read the blog. Today. I wanted to talk about how important how important it can be to ask for help or seek out a mentor. And I wanted to share my own personal story of when I did this.
[00:00:34] And actually a lot of this is also. Comes up around seeking clarity, which is the which is one of the six high-performance habits which is how I got into high-performance coaching by reading Brendon Burchard's book. And it really resonated with me. And this is just a story of when I was locking in clarity and [00:01:00] I recognized it and asked for help.
[00:01:03] And so part of it is about asking for help and seeking a mentor. And part of it is about the process of seeking clarity. My story was actually after I became a high-performance coach, I became certified. And if you've been following me for a little while, or if you haven't my background was in health coaching and integrative health coaching.
[00:01:28] So I really looked at and helped women look at their entire. Life as being part of their health, because if you aren't feeling good, it's usually not just diet and exercise and the things that you think it's usually other things in your life. They just all work together. So I I was doing that for a while for a few years and I was really feeling like.
[00:01:57] I spent a lot of time [00:02:00] on the whole person and not just nutrition and exercise and I wanted some tools to go deeper. Into that whole person. And I looked around didn't really see anything that resonated with me until the I think September of 2017, the book high performance habits by Brendon Burchard came out and I saw him interviewed on on somebody else that I follow on her her blog and is a video, but It's it really resonated with me.
[00:02:36] I bought the book, I got the audio book. I listened to it. I read it. I did it again. And I signed up to go to his seminar about Six or seven months later. And while I was there I decided to to get certified in this process and because it really just resonated with me [00:03:00] so much, and I knew that it would also help my clients.
[00:03:04] And so I signed up, I became certified six months later or so, and and then. I was in this place of having these other tools for helping women coaching women. Along with the other set of of tools that I had from health coaching. And I was really very confused with how to use them and because the health coaching the process that I learned was very.
[00:03:34] Was very client led and more what, like, how did you use the last two weeks? That kind of thing. And then the new certification I had was very much process-based really. Curriculum base where yes, of course it's personalized to the person, but it is also a personal development curriculum.
[00:03:58] And and it's really [00:04:00] powerful. I was I was practicing with other coaches and to really feel it in my own life as well as get their feedback on theirs. And it's just really powerful coaching, but I was just confused with how to set up my business and what to focus on all of that.
[00:04:19] And. I probably think, thank goodness I was in action this whole time and trying to figure it out. But it only took me five or six weeks until I decided I wanted help. I wanted help. I wasn't going to get that clarity on my own. As fast as I wanted to. Yes, of course. It's possible. To achieve all these things on your own, but I really wanted to move more quickly.
[00:04:49] And so I reached out to a woman I had met probably a year and a half previously at at a at a conference or an event.[00:05:00] We had met and, exchanged information and I was following her and. A lot of what she'd been saying had resonated with me. So I knew actually who I wanted to reach out to and we started working together and look at my notes.
[00:05:17] So really my first lesson came Very quickly. I initially signed up to work with her for a month and I really thought that I could just get in there, do the work, figure it out. Maybe even have her tell me what to do, honestly. And it doesn't actually work like that. And I know it doesn't work like that with my coaching.
[00:05:41] Yeah. A few years down the road, since I started with the high-performance coaching and even in all my previous health coaching all the other things I did, it was never, I sh I should have known that. It's not like she was going to tell me what to do. So that was really my [00:06:00] first lesson is that clarity?
[00:06:02] Clarity comes in. Clarity comes. It's not you it doesn't just come. It comes when you want it to, sorry, I'm fumbling with that. But but you do have to work on it. So there's these two things. One, you have to be working on trying to figure it out, whether it's journaling, which I was doing working with a coach, which I was doing, she also had.
[00:06:28] Has a mastermind group. So I was also in a container with other entrepreneurs. So not only was I getting her feedback and her questions, but I was also getting my. Colleagues feedback and information. And I was also in that container when they were asking for feedback and trying to find solutions.
[00:06:52] So all of those things contributed to. To my moving forward, even if it wasn't going to [00:07:00] be quite as fast as I wanted it to be. Cause it does take, just takes that inner work often. Sometimes it depends on what you're working on. You can get it quickly. But, so that was another part. And so I actually, so yes, I worked with her that month and then I signed up to work for that coming year, along with these other entrepreneurs.
[00:07:21] So I made that investment in my time and in my money and and in getting in, getting to. Getting to that clarity. And it was obviously about more than just that, but but that was important. And so I just learned that it's always going to be just a work in progress. And as I mentioned earlier, Clarity and seeking clarity is one of the six high-performance habits.
[00:07:54] And it's something that we are always doing the most [00:08:00] successful people. No matter how you define that are all. Seeking clarity in their lives, whether it's their careers, their businesses, their relationships they're really doing the work to be the person and create the life that they want to create.
[00:08:17] I was want to make sure that I don't miss it. So there we go. So the surprising part in this whole thing. So I signed up with the business coach. I'll put the link in a FISA Shereen, definitely worth checking out her videos for Facebook page. But the surprising part of it was Jay.
[00:08:40] Who is a pony. And unbeknownst to me, when I signed up with Nafisa, she was, she had already chosen with her own clarifying process to go into this direction of Of bringing horses [00:09:00] into her coaching and because she had just I don't know, maybe a year before, probably less finally bought a ranch and she had her horse along with a couple other horses on her property.
[00:09:15] So Jake is a pony and I went up to to have a full day to spend at the ranch and up in British Columbia. Very beautiful. And I met the horses. I met Jay. And Nafisa led me through different exercises. I'd have to go back to, to to remember all of them. But the one that was super surprising is an exercise where I was journaling about my direction.
[00:09:49] I wanted to go in my business with the life coaching, which is the high performance coaching and the health coaching, which is. Still near and dear to my heart because it's [00:10:00] super important. And it's part of the other coaching, but I was riding away in Jacob's very sensitive horse and pony, and that's all part of the process of working with horses in this way.
[00:10:15] And so he's he's not particularly interested in you if your energy. Is off or if you're not congruent, if your thoughts are all over the place. So as I'm journaling, I think I'm getting to a place where I'm getting excited about my direction with my life coaching and, and he'd started out just I'm sitting in a chair.
[00:10:44] In a corral with Jake just at the far end. I'm not sure what he's doing, but he absolutely has no interest in me and I love horses. I'm an animal person. So he's off in the corner doing his [00:11:00] own thing and I'm riding away with the prompts that I'd been given by Nafisa. And next thing I know I'm engrossed in what I'm writing.
[00:11:09] I'm writing about the life coaching and how I think I can help people, how it's helped me and I look up and Jake is right there. Right there next to me, starting to nuzzle my cheek. And he just came, he felt that energy and just came right over to me. As I became more congruent, my thoughts became more congruent.
[00:11:35] My energy was excited and alive. And who knew that I was going to go up there and have a pony, helped me create clarity in my business. So that was huge. And I'll give you some links to check out more about that. So the next part of this so [00:12:00] getting the help, seeking the mentor.
[00:12:03] The next part of this of gaining clarity is taking action. Because definitely clarity does not come without action. And often it's, that's the trial and error part is you try one thing and go into that direction. And then maybe not quite right, go again. And it's the same thing I've talked about in writing my 10 dreams down every day.
[00:12:28] I'm writing my 10 dreams down every day. And if I'm not doing that, like I'm just not focused on them. And I'm also not living into those and deciding, oh, this needs to be a little bit different. This needs to be a little bit different. So they're a little bit similar in that, but this is really just taking action and trying a direction and deciding, okay, I'm on the, I'm in the right.
[00:12:57] I'm in the right direction, but I just want to be a little bit [00:13:00] over here a little bit over there. And so that part is huge. If you want to gain clarity, you take action and more action. And having that accountability of being in a group was also super key because we were meeting as a group mentally.
[00:13:19] I was meeting my coach monthly, and then we were also doing these quarterly Quarterly groups in person. So otherwise it was all virtual. But we were all sending these things multi days in person. And so with all of those, I'm also accountable to someone more than myself, which is also a great key.
[00:13:42] Okay. So the third part of this is that the seeking clarity, I mentioned that earlier is also, it's just an ongoing process and the same thing is working with a mentor. Things got disrupted with the pandemic and other things. And the [00:14:00] great thing about making that investment of time, money, everything trust is that.
[00:14:08] Is that? Yes I worked with her for a year and a half, but I'm still gaining insights from reviewing the work that we did taking action on the work that we did. And yeah. Those more subtle shifts as I go along. So I'm not ever going to learn what hopefully not and learn what I learned during that process.
[00:14:34] So it's not just in the moment. It, it keeps going. So that's why all of these reasons, that's why. In my extraordinary life tribe group coaching membership, we spend several months at the beginning and sometimes it probably seems slow, but we spend several minutes. When I first start working with a cohort [00:15:00] on what.
[00:15:02] What they're focused on in their life. What I want to make sure I don't who their ideal self is the values that are most important to the women I work with. And and we spend this time. Several months and some of it is in the group virtually online. Some of it is on their own when they go off and we have kind of homework assignments and bringing that back to the group, learning from other people and their experiences and and it's really a great process.
[00:15:42] Of staying accountable, moving towards your goals, moving towards your dreams. And getting there not only getting there faster, but also getting there staying because as women it's, it can be so easy. And definitely the [00:16:00] women I work with, they're very caring, nurturing people, and it can be so easy to get off track.
[00:16:05] So having the con having a container to work with other women with the coach, all of that I've experienced how powerful it can be. And I experienced it with the women I'm coaching in my group, my extraordinary life tribe. So it's, I hope that you get something out of this, and I hope that.
[00:16:29] If you were in a place where you're trying to figure out what's next that you reach out to a coach to sometimes a friend, although one of the women, I loved how she said it. When she signed up for the program, she said, this is great because this is a dedicated space. To talk about what I'm working on.
[00:16:52] I can't always spend the whole, coffee time with my friends, just talking about me. So [00:17:00] just having that dedicated space for sure. So just the main lessons I learned just if you're struggling in any way. Often in the, any way in your life, all those ways, relationships, career, business, whatever it is often lacking.
[00:17:17] Clarity is a factor. And then just get help. Get help sooner or later in figuring it out because it'll be worth it. You'll move faster. You'll stay on your path. And do the work and be patient because it comes in. Stages clarity. And it changes because we change and B just be patient with yourself and be patient with the process and take action.
[00:17:48] You can't just intellectualize it. You can't, it's not just about journaling. It's not just about thinking about it, meditating on it. You actually have to take action as well. [00:18:00] And and rinse and repeat. And sometimes when mentor, coach group is good for you for awhile. And then a different one can be, so it's all evolving.
[00:18:11] It's all a process. I hope that you learned something from this. I would love to hear in the comments, what you what you've experienced when getting a mentor has really helped you. Great. So see you in here next time. Have a great rest of your day. And. Shoot me an email [email protected]
[00:18:37] I would love to hear from you and about your experience. All right, bye. For now.