Podcast Episode #52
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Extraordinary Life Podcast from the creator of the Extraordinary Life Tribe, Crystal Obregon, the self-development podcast propelling you forward toward your goals, using science backed high performance habits. Reach the next level in your physical and mental health. See new heights in your relationships.
[00:00:18] Gain clarity on your purpose and live your extraordinary life. Welcome your host writer, speaker and coach, Crystal Obregon.
[00:00:30] Crystal: Hi there. This is Crystal from Crystal Obregon Coaching with Episode Number 52 of The Extraordinary Life Podcast. You've got it. Number 52, 1 full year of podcasting and who better to be interviewing for this podcast than Tracie root.
[00:00:50] Tracie is a speaker coach, bestselling author and community builder. She helps women take bold action and [00:01:00] thrive in life and business. And she definitely helped me to thrive during the pandemic with her community. I met Tracie about four years ago at an event, a mutual friend was hosting. We hit it off right away, partially because she's a super awesome person.
[00:01:19] And also because we have similar paths in how we became coaches in the path we took. We're members of a women's networking connection group together. I have been part of her community for several years and she's attended my Design Your Decade workshop as well. So let's get started. Welcome, Tracie. Would you like to tell my audience a little bit about yourself?
[00:01:47] Tracie: I can't believe it's been a year. Congratulations. Thank you. 52 episodes. That's so exciting. I, at first I was like 52. That's younger than me [00:02:00] but then I realized what you were referring to 52 weeks. That's so wonderful. So happy for you. Yeah. It's, it's interesting when we remember how we met, right? Because we did start off kind of in a similar place, looking at the health of ourselves, our bodies, our families, and knowing that there had to be changes that we could make that would support us, not only with our physical health, but obviously
[00:02:27] in other areas of our lives, because health is such an all encompassing, you know, thing, we all have it, or, you know, we don't like it's part of every person's life. And so I did start off as a health coach a little over 10 years ago. And that began because I was a widow, a new widow about a year and a half past.
[00:02:50] And my kids were young and I was working full time in corporate and was super exhausted. Obviously I was in survival [00:03:00] mode because I had lost my husband and was raising these two little kids and didn't really have any family close by. So it was very much on my own. You know, when you're in that survival mode, you just kind of live day by day and you don't really know necessarily what is going to
[00:03:19] start that, be that catalyst for change. So for me, it was just kind of coming out of that grief fog after about a year and a half after my husband passed away from cancer. And realizing that I was always exhausted. I was never really kind of happy. I just would drop the kids off, go to work all day, pick 'em up, get them to bed, drink wine, total mom meme.
[00:03:47] Right. Drink wine, and eat junk food, cheese. and go to bed and do it all again the next day. So I realized if anything was gonna change, I was gonna have to change something. And it seemed like [00:04:00] the thing that I saw in the mirror every day, this body that was foreign to me after all this time would be a good place to start that if I lost some weight after having two kids and kind of a lifetime struggle of.
[00:04:14] Trying to build or not even trying, like just having bad habits. I knew that if I felt better in my body, I would start to feel better in my mind and in my energy. And hopefully some happiness would start to return. And so that's what I did. I started with some weight loss. I lost 55 pounds that summer and I felt amazing.
[00:04:33] I looked great. And all the people in my world were like, holy cow, what did you do? You need to help me? And my program had had a coach. So my coach taught me how to coach. This is really common in kind of the network marketing world of programs, which mine was one of them. So I started helping my friends and family, my coworkers.
[00:04:58] It was a great way [00:05:00] to get started, to understand what coaching was all about, because even though I don't do health coaching any longer, What I learned as a part of that is what sticks with me today. You know, the basics of being empathetic, active, listening, um, understanding how your body and your mind and your kind of heart and soul are all tied together.
[00:05:28] You know, when you're struggling with weight, like I was, it, wasn't only about what I was eating, even though it was a lot about that. It was a lot about my mental capacity to care for myself to allow myself grace. To not talk down to myself when things were hard. And those are the things that I think most women carry with them all the time, whether they have weight to lose or not, right.
[00:05:53] The negative self talk, the lack of self care. And so it put me on a path to [00:06:00] understanding the mindset changes that needed to happen and the, the community and understanding and connection of people in order to, to move us forward. So now. It's 10 years later, like I said, I'm not focused on health coaching, but I am focused on is helping women recognize that they need to make space for themselves in their lives.
[00:06:25] They need to not only make space for themselves, but once that like entry crack is open, that they need to walk through it and stand on the other side, unapologetically and boldly. With what they believe in and what they care about and, and prioritizing themselves and the people that they care about and that they love.
[00:06:50] So being bold in your life, being bold in your business and. Learning every day. What that means for [00:07:00] you is what I am about to help others like figure out. So that's how I get started.
[00:07:08] Crystal: I've seen you in the past few years being very bold branching off in a new part of your business, and I'll let you tell about that.
[00:07:18] And then the pandemic happened and so it obviously impacted that.
[00:07:25] Tracie: Well, the whole idea of bold as kind of my theme came about in like late, I wanna say, I think it was late 2018 and I was actually on a cruise ship at a like seminar at sea. Right. We were out for a week and. We were working on speaking and, and selling and offers and, and storytelling.
[00:07:50] And you know, all of the things that as an entrepreneur, I use to get my message across to people to have better speeches so that [00:08:00] people are interested to find out more about how they can, you know, learn more. So at the end of this week at sea, we had done a lot of. Growth in our tactics, but also is a very personal transformation kind of, of thing, because you really have to, like I said, crack through that barrier and those limiting beliefs that you hold on yourself to be, you know, like that next level, that transformation at the end of the week.
[00:08:30] So on the last day we all got together in our room and. We were all given a sticker and a Sharpie. And we were asked to put on the sticker a word that represented how we were gonna be different when we got off the ship, not what we were gonna do. Right. We all had our to-do lists and all of that kind of stuff, but how we were gonna actually be different.
[00:08:53] What was the personal transformation from the inside? And I took my Sharpie and I wrote in all capital letters, B O L D on my sticker, [00:09:00] and I stuck it to my chest. and everyone was really surprised because they saw me as someone who was already bold. I mean, I'm six feet tall, so you can't kind of miss me.
[00:09:11] I, I had purple hair at the time and I'm not afraid to, you know, stand up in front of the groups, tell my story, talk, you know, blah, blah, blah. And I had been in business for half a dozen years or so at that time anyway. So they were really surprised because they thought. What do you mean you wanna be bold?
[00:09:31] You already like look at you. You already are. And I said, you know, I can put on that show. I can do the performance. I can act bold. I can sound it. I can look it. But what I really needed to do was to internalize that and embody what that meant to me so that I could then share that with my clients. So I took that word bold.
[00:09:53] And since I grew up in Silicon valley, I make everything in acronym. So we took the O L and D and made a four part [00:10:00] framework about really looking at your business in the big picture and the next level and the next level, so that you can take the actions. That'll actually get you towards that goal. And towards that dream that you're imagining with bold.
[00:10:15] So that was, you know, really important as the pandemic hit because so later in 2019, I actually opened an event space, a in-person event space here in Santa Cruz. And of course, five months later, we had to shut the, shut the doors, turn off the lights and wait to see what was gonna happen next, because we thought right, March 20, 20, we thought it was gonna be a few weeks.
[00:10:41] Right. Little did we know for sure. And, you know, a few weeks later I was like, well, we don't really know what's gonna happen. It was a really good exercise in like allowing and in, in recognizing that you don't always have control [00:11:00] over what's to come right. And to manage about managing expectations. Like it was just good learning experience.
[00:11:06] Right. At that time, I don't have any idea what's to come, what am I gonna. And so I took the model that we had for this in person space and I moved it to an online model. So what does that mean? I took, you know, people used to rent the room and I would help them with promotion with visibility. Um, try to get people in the room for myself so that more people knew about the room, but also for them.
[00:11:29] So they would have a successful event. So they would come back and maybe their attendees would then have their own events, right. The whole ripples in the pond. And. So, how do you do that online? Will we do that with a membership? So instead of someone renting the room and us giving them all of that service and all of that support, we do that with our members.
[00:11:49] So our members pay us a fee and we then promote them. Whatever events they have coming up. We hold our own events that they get to be featured at. We [00:12:00] co-sponsor workshops, we hold networking events, all of the things that would've happened in an in-person room we do online. And what's great about that is we're no longer bound by geography.
[00:12:12] I also don't have to pay rent anymore, which is a big plus . Um, but that took a while to get, to get finished with. But in the meantime, we're no longer bound by geography. So we have members all around the country. We have attendees all around north America. We've had some, um, you know, overseas as well, and it allows us.
[00:12:32] To reach a larger, larger audience. It allows our clients to reach a LAR larger audience. And therefore we're not just dealing with like this small pond. We're now like the whole drop in the ocean. We are the ocean. We don't have to just be a small thing. We can reach all the way across. The miles to thanks to so much activity [00:13:00] being online.
[00:13:00] So it's been really wonderful and has allowed me and our, my clients to think bigger because we're not bound by any geography.
[00:13:11] Crystal: You look at the blessings. Obviously there are a lot of not blessings with the pandemic. One of those, I know that for me, I've felt more connected, both with your community. And then another little one that I've been part of during the pandemic, which, which is amazing.
[00:13:28] Especially for me as an introvert, I still need to feel connected.
[00:13:32] Tracie: There's a myth there about I introversion, right? Like, I mean, maybe you need a little more of a push to get started. but it's not that, I mean, we're still humans, right? I think that the, the pandemic brought out a little introvert in a lot of us extroverts.
[00:13:48] Where, you know, now that it's like, oh, it's time to go back in person or whatever. It's like, I don't, I don't know if I can do. I don't. I dunno if I wanna do that. I, I like my slippers, you know, we get [00:14:00] in our habits, but what we need to remember is no matter what our introversion extroversion is all about how we restore our energy, but the bottom line is we're still people, humans need to be connected to other humans.
[00:14:13] And you know, so even those of us who may get to a point where it's like, I don't wanna go out. I don't wanna be in a crowd. I don't wanna. Get all dressed or whatever, but you still have to be connected to people. You know, the, the people who don't are like the bomber, right. They're like living in a cave alone and that's like, there's, that's not healthy.
[00:14:38] So it's much more healthy to be connected to people, regardless of whether that's one on one online or. In a crowd safe and safe and healthy, wherever that may be.
[00:14:49] Crystal: Is there something specific that you could pinpoint that you really learned about yourself?
[00:14:55] Tracie: Oh, I'm sure there is. Let's see. I would say that [00:15:00] in creating The Gather Community.
[00:15:02] So before we met before our networking chapter was created several years ago, I had always been trying to create networking here in Santa Cruz. That's part of why we created, gather the space also. Right. Always trying to bring people together. And it was really hard. Like I kept. Looking for a group that we could bring a version of it here locally.
[00:15:27] So I could cuz I love networking. I love meeting new people. I love connecting to people. I love connecting others, right? Like I'm always looking for who can I introduce you to for what you need trying to make those connections and the groups that I was finding, it was very challenging to try to grow that membership.
[00:15:50] Or if I tried to start my own, it was, you know, it was, it's hard to get to kick something off, off the ground. You know, when I opened that space, I ha I knew I had one job and [00:16:00] that was to get people in the room like that was it. Like I made the room, that was a job I had to, you know, do the technical aspects of connecting to the downtown assist.
[00:16:09] You know, all the things about be having a space physically in downtown Santa Cruz. But my job was to get people in the. Influencers users, anyone who would tell someone else that there was a room that they could use. And there was no fear in that I reached out to people I had never met. I reached out to people who were like figures in the city and in the like, business
[00:16:35] world of the city, who I'd never met. And I'm just some chick who built a room, but I had no fear in reaching out to them. So there was a lot of, kind of, I felt really good about that. It was very, the word is courage, but it just. It, it, I didn't really feel like I was held. I wasn't holding myself back from what needed to be done in order to have [00:17:00] that have success.
[00:17:00] I was obsessed with the idea. I had gotten so much support from my friends and associates that I had been networking with and things like that, that I started to reach out for people. If I saw someone online, it's like, oh, that person is doing this and this and this. Need to tell them I need to invite them to come through the room.
[00:17:18] And so to take that kind of willingness. To show up and move it kind of back online, away from my room and back into the zoom world that I had already been living in. It's interesting to see how that translated to growing the gather community, to inviting people, to come to our events, to inviting people, to consider being a member, to being part of the group of people that we're supporting.
[00:17:50] I kind of had the same feeling that there was, um, kind of a it's and it wasn't just like confidence. It's like a leadership quality. Like there's something in [00:18:00] there it's like, I am confident in this. This is something that I created. I know it has value. And I know that if this person were to be a part of it, they would get value and we would be even more valuable to even more people.
[00:18:16] So like that, that building on. each other and that we're more together and all of those kinds of, you know, phrases like we're better together. Everyone says that, but when you experience it, it's incredible. So I think that that's probably to go back to what the question was like, what changed and what did I learn about myself?
[00:18:39] That the ability to stand up as a leader in, in. Building the community was huge. The other thing that really changed for me is, you know, I have been coaching for 10 years. And before that I was, you know, working in corporate for almost two decades, [00:19:00] vice president of whatever. And you know, all of that stuff and to move from corporate to entrepreneurship is a big shift.
[00:19:08] You know what? I'm still. As great as a motivator and a communicator and all of the things that I was back in corporate now. So why am I short changing what I allow myself to, to earn or to experience now versus what I was doing back at corporate? So like understanding. Not only am I doing what's more suited for me, but I'm better at this than I was at that.
[00:19:39] And that I also can grow in the success of the business and, you know, the income and all of the things related to having this as a business for me as the growing away from corporate and becoming more successful in my own business, as opposed to. [00:20:00] Kind of letting someone else identify my value. So that's been really huge as well.
[00:20:04] Crystal: It's really a two part question creating a successful business, but it's also creating success for yourself. What does that look like for you?
[00:20:15] Tracie: So with the gather community, that's very clear. We have very specific things. We said, this is what we're doing. This is our goal to offer to you. And these are the things that we're gonna do in order to do that.
[00:20:27] And that's been growing over the last couple of years, the first year, first year, we just kind of like, I don't know what to do. Let's just do some stuff because we all wanna stay busy and stay visible. And we don't want our businesses to die, frankly. Like we were all like, how do we do this? But going forward from there and recognizing that to add more to that and more value as a company, offering it to the, the membership clients that are our members to fulfill the promises that we made to them is number one important thing [00:21:00] for me when we're talking about.
[00:21:04] As you know, so success as a company is to be able to do that well, to do that for our clients, to be able to monetize that, to be able to reach more attendees, a larger spread of the things that we're creating to reach more people so that they get to learn and grow as well. When you go to, like, for me, what is, how has success changed?
[00:21:27] And it's really. Has to start with, what does that even mean? Right. What does success even mean? And of course I have income goals and I have, you know, clientele goals related to that. But success for me has always been. Having an impact, right? Making sure that my clients not only are monetizing and everything, but that they are uplifted and supported and feel more confident and feel more bold as a result of being connected to each other.
[00:21:56] And to me, and then also, you know, having teenagers a big part of [00:22:00] success for me is, is the example that I'm setting for them, the ability to, um, shift priorities as necessary. With, you know, business and family and that the, the biggest success that we've had is the fact that not only are we still here.
[00:22:23] but that the members membership is growing. The reach is growing. You know, it's all about having that forward motion. So my kids are moving forward. My income is moving forward. My members are moving forward. Our reach is growing like there's expansion in all directions. And I think that that's a big signal of success, you know, any business.
[00:22:46] That selling things, right. Items, their ability to succeed is based on their reach, how many things they can sell and how much money they're making compared to their cost of good sold. There's [00:23:00] no difference for a, for a service based business, because it's all about expansion from where you are. You know, your question was basically about success for the business, but success for me.
[00:23:11] And I think expansion. In all of the different areas is probably one of the best ways to, to look at that
[00:23:19] Crystal: Your teenage son had the day off work today. And so you're able to go have breakfast with him. And I did something similar yesterday with my son. He just got his learner's permit last week said, oh, I have a couple errands to run.
[00:23:32] And it's like, oh, I'm coming now, which is , I'll drive you and, and then deciding to go have a little early lunch together. And those times are priceless.
[00:23:45] Tracie: I cannot even imagine him not being here. Just him going to his job is already weird. Like, for days on end. He's not here because he's at work and it's so strange, but it's just the beginning of that [00:24:00] real, you know, it's the beginning of the fly, the coop kind of thing.
[00:24:04] Then I have a 13 year old. Who's not anywhere near that, but can't wait to get a job. So like that's gonna feel even faster. I think if we are intentional about keeping those relationships and I think this is probably my biggest. Child, uh, you know, child raising philosophy is to make sure that your bond is so consistent, easy, quote, easy when they're young and totally reliant on you.
[00:24:34] But as they get older, if you don't intentionally make that connection consistent, then it's gonna fade. They'll find other people to talk to. And I just feel like that's thankfully something that comes very naturally to me. Let's do this together. Let's do that together. Where should we go? What should we do?
[00:24:55] Right. Let's do things together. And for, for everyone, it's not always, that's not like a [00:25:00] natural thought for a lot of people. So I guess I would wanna say, wanna encourage people to look at where you can make moments with your kids. And the same goes for our business, right. With our clients. Right. We want the day to day is, I mean, people do remember the day to day because that support place, that space that you hold for people when it's consistent is really important.
[00:25:26] But those moments that are like, oh, I remember this moment. And you know, the, the memory of those moments over time, they were always there. Right. So like for my kids when they're off and they're 30 years old, I want them to remember when they were teenagers, that I was always there for them when they were in high school or junior high or.
[00:25:49] Junior high middle school, or when they're in college and they needed something, whatever, like I'm there, which is not to be a helicopter at all. Cause I'm not, [00:26:00] but the connection is so important. And I think that the same thing goes with our clients and with the members of the gather community and stuff is like that consistency.
[00:26:10] But then the moments, right? There's like the two kind of a twofold experience. And I think both are super important.
[00:26:17] Crystal: I talk a lot about using different tools when you are feeling challenged. So could you share what your biggest challenge is right now and what tools do you use to help you move through it?
[00:26:33] And it's always good to be prepared. So if you're not experiencing a big challenge right now, what are your tools?
[00:26:40] Tracie: You know, if something is not going. Great. I do really keep reminding myself about the fact that we don't know what the future holds. Right. I can go back to what my husband passed away. I can go to what my mom passed away.
[00:26:58] I can go back to what my parents [00:27:00] got divorced. Like we all have things in our lives. And I think as adults, especially if we can recognize that we never knew any of that was coming. and we couldn't have expected it and the good things and the bad things that happen in life. We don't know what to expect tomorrow.
[00:27:18] We could win the lot. If you play the lotto, you could win the lotto. Like I don't play. So I guess I'm not gonna win, but you know, you could have the long lost great aunt who leaves you $5 million. You know, you never know what the future holds. It could be good. It could be not so good. We could have, you know, really crazy political things happen, which is happening here in our lives.
[00:27:38] Right now we could have, you know, a global pandemic, which the entire world has recently experienced and some are continuing to experience in various ways. How do you manage that? I think the first thing you have to do is remember that you have, you don't know what's to expect, so you have to learn how to manage your expectations.
[00:27:56] This used to be a really big thing for me, like [00:28:00] when you're starting your own business and. Where are the clients, right? Where are the people? And I talk to all these people and I don't have any clients. It's like, okay, well, it could be your skills. It could be there talking to the wrong people. It could be that maybe you need to change what you're at.
[00:28:17] Like, there's so many variables. You don't know where to go. Which also means like, don't get so hard on yourself because you're learning. So not knowing what to expect and recognizing that whatever does happen, you can learn from it and, and progress regardless of whether or not you knew that that thing was coming.
[00:28:41] So that's a really big deal is learning how to manage your, your expectations and manage your disappointment. The tactical things that I do around. Days or moments that are not so hot for me, it's a, there's always a [00:29:00] benefit of changing my environment, like getting out of the house and going for a drive or a walk or.
[00:29:06] Just get, go somewhere else. Right. Which is not to like run away from the situation because it's all in my head. It's all here with me. But to recognize like a change of scenery get in nature is really big for a lot of people. For me, it's more like go for a drive up the coast and which is a little bit of getting in nature, cuz there's the ocean, but I'm still in the.
[00:29:30] But I might stop the car and go sit on the bench and like, just look at the water. And it's just that it's, it changes your, your air, the energy around you, everything changes. So that's a really big supportive practice that I use for sure what I've been doing of late this last week. I think three out of the last five days I've come on Facebook and just done a video.
[00:29:55] And like, I don't really know. What I wanna talk about, [00:30:00] but I kind of wish that someone would tell me something good. So I have some cards and I'll pull a card and it's like, oh, what's this message. And then what does that mean for me? And maybe I can help someone on the other end saying by saying what it means for me, maybe it'll help them.
[00:30:19] And in fact, yesterday, that was, it was a really impactful day. I think. I mean, you were on there, but there were several other people on there. and you never know what's gonna happen. Like it's a total mystery who that's gonna reach, but the act of doing it makes you feel better because maybe it'll help someone else.
[00:30:39] And it definitely helps. It helps me process my thoughts and my emotions by doing that. And so that's really helpful. Also. I actually took a class last night from one of our gather community members that was about. Crystals for healing. And, you know, I mean, whether you, you know, enjoy that kind of work or [00:31:00] not, it's was great to be on with some gals for a little over an hour, talking about supporting our emotions and our thoughts and how can we.
[00:31:12] Recognize what's happening for us and try to move through that. Um, and whatever tools you use to do that, just recognizing, recognizing that it's there and doing something to, you know, taking some sort of action. So I think that's, maybe that's the last piece is, you know, the getting out of the house, the doing a video, these are all activities, right.
[00:31:35] Doing action. Instead of what I wanted, what I was doing before that video yesterday, which was laying on my bed. Not doing anything, just kinda curled up in a ball. I was like, okay, well that felt good for a few minutes, but that's not gonna help me really feel better. It just was a moment. So get out of that moment and start moving in a direction that that is progressive and moving [00:32:00] forward.
[00:32:00] So acknowledging how you're feeling and acknowledging what you wanna do about it. I think are two, the two primary steps. This is how I feel. And I'd like to not feel like that anymore. So let's go do something different, whether that's the new place or talk to someone or just share, you know what you're feeling, maybe it's doing art, maybe it's journaling, maybe it's playing music, but doing some sort of activity that is gonna change your kind of mental, emotional, physical state is important.
[00:32:36] Crystal: And it's almost just doing anything, right.
[00:32:39] Tracie: Whatever it is, that's gonna feel right for you do something, don't just go lay a ball on your bed. Right. and again, like you can do that for a moment, right? Like it's okay to do that short term because it's okay. And totally fine to feel what you're feeling. But if your desire is to, [00:33:00] to move through that and come out on the other side, then you've got to do something to make that happen.
[00:33:06] You can't sit there and just hope that it's gonna come because we're responsible for our own progress. We can't just, you know, wait for the solution to show up. We have to go out and, and get it ourselves.
[00:33:24] Crystal: This is something that I love to ask everybody. If you could go back to your 18 year old or just your early adult self and give that person one piece of advice, what would it be?
[00:33:38] Tracie: You know, it's so interesting because I was a very different person back then, you know, before, before Paul died, you know, I was a very different person before I had kids. I was a, you know, I'm a whole other human. To go all the way back to, you know, I'll say, you know, early [00:34:00] twenties, which is when I was out of drum core, but in college, although I had met Paul by that point.
[00:34:06] So, you know, like somewhere in between, I think that it still comes back to recognizing that you don't really know what's coming. And as much as a control freak, you wanna be that you really don't have control. Like you can make. Moves in a direction that you want, but things might still happen that send you off track.
[00:34:31] And that that's the way it's supposed to be. Right. That you're supposed to, not like nothing in nature is a straight line. You have to recognize that things are gonna come up and things are gonna happen that are not what you expected and can actually help you grow into a better version of yourself. You know, I think that's probably the biggest gift that coaching gave me early on was the [00:35:00] idea of doing personal development.
[00:35:03] Like I never read a self-help book before I started coaching. I barely knew how to recognize my own mental health when I was still working in corporate, actually probably about when was this still late nineties? So it's probably the late nineties. So somewhere around 2000 and Paul was working, um, out of town, he worked for a rock band.
[00:35:29] He did like their, um, promotional like shirts and all that kind of. For several years. And so he was very often out of town and I'm sure that had I gone to talk to someone, I would've been diagnosed with depression because I was very depressed. And to the point where I made a very poorly chosen set of comments towards a client.
[00:35:54] I was working for a consulting firm at the time we were a small company and we were on site at a, at a big client. [00:36:00] I don't really remember the details about it anymore, but I remember getting kicked under the table by my boss. And I remember afterwards her basically telling me that, look, you're gonna have to figure this out because this is gonna start to jeopardize your job, your career.
[00:36:17] If you continue to act like this with your client, with our clients. They thankfully knew more than I did about learning. And they sent me to Del Carnegie and I learned some stuff, but I didn't really process how much of a help that was until much later that was a really big deal because I was totally like, not clear on why I was acting that way.
[00:36:43] It was, it is such a mystery because I was so young and I didn't know anything about recognizing my own feelings and being. Being able to understand how I was getting in my own way. So the whole idea of [00:37:00] recognizing how you feel what's going on so that you can learn from the experiences that you're in and get better on the other side was totally foreign to me.
[00:37:08] And that is probably what I would go back and make sure to talk to myself about is that you don't know what's to come. It might not be great. And. If you can recognize it, you can do something about it. And sometimes that just takes, you know, a little bit of introspection. Sometimes that takes someone to talk to.
[00:37:30] And sometimes it takes a, I don't know, slap on the face, like recognize what's going on. I D I guess, yeah, the message would be to pay attention to how you feel. because you get to use that for your own improvement going forward.
[00:37:54] Crystal: What's one question you wish that I would've asked you and how would you have answered?
[00:37:59] Tracie: [00:38:00] That I wish you would've asked me. I don't know. Whenever we talk, we just talk about so many things. I don't know that I there's ever anything out of the conversation. You know, I guess that I don't know that I necessarily wish you would asked me, but something that's comes to my mind about something that, that doesn't usually come up in conversation is the idea of, you know, when we talk about being bold, like, what is it that I had to change to be more bold?
[00:38:30] Like I said, from the ship, right. Put the sticker on my chest. I need to be more bold. Like, what is it that I needed to do differently in order for that to actually happen? And I think the answer is, you know, and when I teach being bold in your business, I ask everyone like, what is bold mean for you? And one of the, I usually do it since it's all on zoom.
[00:38:53] I do it with like a poll. And one of the ideas is like standing up for your, like what you [00:39:00] believe in standing up for the things that are true inside that never seem to come out because they're not business related and they're not like friendly, you know, it's like the things that really matter inside that, unless you're really having a deep conversation with someone that never really kind of comes to, light. And I think the way things are going in our world right now, there's a lot to be said for the things that we hold inside that matter to us. So being bold then for me has become very much a believe in what you're saying. So strongly that. That you can say it without being concerned for judgment.
[00:39:44] Right? For what other people are gonna think about what you say, I'm not gonna take it to the political side of things, but what that, what I mean by that now is like believing in yourself so strongly that you're willing to say that you believe in yourself. [00:40:00] Right. A lot of people will be like, yeah, yeah, I'm pretty good at that.
[00:40:03] Or that went well. But I did that and therefore I am good. Right? Like claiming your strength, I think is a very vulnerable thing to do. And that's when I said I was gonna be more bold. That's what I needed to do. So that's a great question. cause that just kind of helped me work through all of that. And now I can help
[00:40:28] say that to my potential clients, like, look, you have something inside you that you're not ready to let out, but people need it. And that's what being bold is. Right? You're you're maybe worried about how you're gonna be judged or how you're gonna be perceived, but that's what someone needs in order to be brave enough to do their next thing.
[00:40:51] So if you can be brave, then they can be brave. If you can be bold, then they can be bold. Yeah. Ooh, that's good.
[00:40:59] Crystal: Is there [00:41:00] anything else that you would like to share?
[00:41:03] Tracie: Well, that was a lot I think all I would wanna wanna make sure that we just say, you know, at the end, obviously I've got a million things going on and that if anyone's listening, we haven't met.
[00:41:14] I love meeting new people and we've got a lot of opportunities to connect. Um, one of my very favorite things that I've been doing since we were a room in a town back in Santa Cruz, since I love being with people, it's like, let's get together. Let's so I created co-working times when we had Gather, the room.
[00:41:34] Well, ever since the pandemic hit, we've been doing that online. We started with like an hour, a day, three days a week or something like that, which was a lot. And we moved to one day a week and now we do two days a week for two hours each. And it's a really great way to just be like, Hey, we're together,
[00:41:52] we're gonna get some stuff done. What are you working on? Hey, what are you working on? We get to know each other a little bit. And then we sit together and we get some work [00:42:00] done. And when we come back at the end, we get to celebrate each other because that's another thing that we don't do often enough is like, yes, I got this done.
[00:42:08] And yes, I talk to this person and they're so great. And I can't wait for them to become a client or they did become a client or, you know, whatever it may be, or I made these five appointments for my kids that I've been needing to do whatever it may be. So there's a lot of value in doing that kind of focused work together.
[00:42:32] And so we do that every two days a week, every week. So if you go to my links page on my website, there's the opportunity to, to register for that. It also will list anything we have coming up in the gather community, any workshops from its whatever. My. Ebook that I use for Be Bold in Your Business is there as well, that you can look at that four letter word and made it a four part framework on how to be bold in your business.
[00:42:56] So that's there as well.
[00:42:57] Crystal: On your website, you do have [00:43:00] a page with all the links to what's going on right now and how to get ahold of you. So those will be in the show notes.
[00:43:08] Tracie: And if anyone's on Facebook, like that's Facebook and LinkedIn is where I kind of hang out on social media the most, mostly Facebook, because, you know, I was an early, I love social media, like when it's good.
[00:43:21] It's good. So we've got a great group there and it's, we do a lot of explaining of what everything that's going on. And we've got a group for our VIP members and for our membership at large and yeah, good stuff. So definitely find us there.
[00:43:36] Crystal: Thank you for taking the time to share your story again with me. And I learned some new things and my listeners have a great rest of your day.
[00:43:48] Bye for now.
[00:43:50] Outro: Thank you for listening to The Extraordinary Life Podcast with writer and coach, Crystal Obregon. We'd love to connect with you outside of the podcast, too. To find more helpful insights, show notes and more [00:44:00] about Crystal. Go to Crystal Obregon.com that's O B R E G O N, where you'll also find info for the Design your Decade Workshop. This workshop will help you to stop drifting and start creating. Until next time, be extraordinary.