Podcast Episode #66
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Extraordinary Life Podcast from the creator of the Extraordinary Life Tribe, Crystal Obregon, the Self Development Podcast propelling you forward toward your goals using science backed high performance habits. Reach the next level in your physical and mental health. See new heights in your relationships.
[00:00:18] Gain clarity on your purpose and live your extraordinary life. Welcome your host, writer, speaker and coach, Crystal Obregon. Hi there. This is Crystal of Crystal Obregon coaching with Episode Number 66 of the Extraordinary Life Podcast.
[00:00:39] Today I'd like to tackle the topic of expectations. I've been thinking about expectations a lot because in the news I've been seeing a lot of people's emotions being tossed around by what the economy is doing by gas prices, interest rates, and stock market [00:01:00] fluctuations. They seem to be letting the outside circumstances that get all the focus of the news impact the decisions they make and what they want from their lives.
[00:01:13] I always think about the big stock market crash of 1929. The twenties had been an era of optimism and affluence, but when the stock market crashed, it was ultimately fear that impacted the result because so many people were fearful they took their money out of the banks until the banks had to close due to a lack of cash. Some people think that if most people would've held on tight, to where they were,
[00:01:42] it's likely that it would've been a short drop. That we wouldn't have had the Great Depression. Of course, I'm simplifying. All those fearful people ultimately did get what they expected, which was a depression. The reality is that while [00:02:00] many people did suffer greatly during the great depression, that definitely includes my ancestors, the people in my family,
[00:02:08] others did really well during that time. It's likely because they didn't get caught up in the doubt, fear, and worry, and they kept their expectations high. So how does that work? When outside circumstances seem unfavorable, should you keep your great expectations or should you set the bar lower? I say, and many others do as well, that you should keep your high expectations.
[00:02:36] But let me back up a bit. Ralph Charell is quoted to have said, "Nobody succeeds beyond his or her wildest expectations unless he or she begins with some wild expectations." So what are your expectations for your life? Are you excited about your future or do you face it with [00:03:00] apprehension, fear, or even dread? And that can be the far away future, or that could be your day.
[00:03:08] For many people, the future holds too many uncertainties, and the fear of what might happen tends to overshadow the ray of light that represents the life they ultimately desire. One of the hardest things to do in life is to lift yourself out of your current circumstances and step up to the level of life you desire, especially if you did have ancestors and relatives that have lived in poverty and had a different life than what you want.
[00:03:43] We all live with an unconscious expectation of ourselves and our own lives, and this expectation not only determines what we have in our lives, but it also represents what we're willing to settle for. [00:04:00] Expectation is a very powerful emotion and one that very few people ever learn to cultivate. Whatever you expect with certainty is what you will get in your life.
[00:04:12] Expectation is the emotional state where an idea becomes so real that you feel it, even though you can't hold it yet. Expectation is like an invisible magnet that will attract into your life what you expect. When you expect something, you activate and engage those parts of your mind and your nervous system that can empower you to think the unthinkable and do the undoable.
[00:04:39] One of the most powerful ways to cultivate expectation is to develop a very clear vision of your life for your life. This is why I lead the Design Your Decade workshops every year, and why I encourage participants to come back every year. Most people never even make the [00:05:00] time to really define what they want from their lives, but even those who do follow the hope and price strategy, they kind of know what they want, but they don't believe they can have it.
[00:05:13] So they hope that something will happen and come along in their life path to fulfill their desires. Expectation, however, is a completely different mindset. It's a mindset of absolute certainty that can be consciously cultivated, inherent in hoping there's a sense of doubt, as you always hold two opposing results in your mind's eye.
[00:05:37] When you expect something, you know it's definitely happening. The very focus of your mind dwells upon one definite end result. To turn a hope into an expectation, you simply eliminate doubt and fear by eliminating the opposing outcome, instead of seeing something fail or succeed, [00:06:00] you now only see the success.
[00:06:02] With expectation, your actions, your words, and your imagination dwells upon and reflects you already having and being exactly what you want. When you expect something, you remove the doubt that is inherent in hoping. For example, when a mother is pregnant, we would say she's expecting. In other words, she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt exactly what's going to happen.
[00:06:30] Although some details are still unclear, she is certain about the fact that there is a baby in there and not something unknown. On an emotional level, she can feel the result because she's expecting it, although she can't see it and touch it yet, what you expect for your life is exactly like that, when you start to expect for your life that which you absolutely desire,
[00:06:55] your whole mindset turns from an uncertain, hoping and wishing [00:07:00] to the certainty of expecting. The images you encourage and entertain in your mind's eye, what you say to yourself, and everybody else reflects only the result you're committed to. Most people expect the worst and hope for the best. Our cultural conditioning has taught us things like, don't get your hopes up just in case you might be disappointed.
[00:07:25] We've been taught to aim as low as possible. Everything above that will be a bonus, right? Wrong. Remember that what you expect with certainty is what you'll get in your life. You've gotta break away from the masses that settle for an ordinary life, a life where they're not really happy, but they're not unhappy enough to do something about it.
[00:07:49] If you want to lift your life and the quality of your life to a higher level than what it is at the moment, you need to start by raising your expectations. [00:08:00] Raise your expectations of who you are as a person and what you believe you deserve. . When you lift your expectations to that higher level, you raise your own standards, and that's the first step in improving your life.
[00:08:15] When you expect only the very best, you'll get only the very best because what you earn right now is what you expect to earn. The amount of free time you have right now is what you expect to have as free time. The relationships you have are what you expect them to be. When you expect the best, it's not like expecting something good or something similar, but it's the best and only the best.
[00:08:42] You have to stop settling for less than you can be or have. For example, I have a friend that's so proud of herself right now. She's been working on all aspects of her life, and she recently went shopping for a new bicycle. She had four [00:09:00] options of what she wanted when she went to the bike shop. One of them was this larger, more substantial bicycle that came in electric or regular, and then a smaller, less substantial bicycle that also came in electric or regular.
[00:09:16] She really hadn't had any intention of buying an electric bike, but she did give it a try and she loved it. So when she decided that she did want an electric bike, she also tried the smaller, less substantial bicycle that also came with a less substantial price tag. It just didn't feel as good to her, it wasn't what she wanted.
[00:09:40] What she really wanted was the nicer electric bike. Now the old her would have gotten the cheaper bike or waited until the one she wanted was on sale, but instead she decided, she made the decision to buy the one she really wanted. She didn't [00:10:00] settle. How do you think that decision will impact the rest of her life?
[00:10:05] On a deep psychological level, this is exactly what creates your expectations, and that's why a lifetime of settling for less creates an expectation. It also, when you do that, it becomes a standard that you're willing to settle for. My coach, Nafissa Shireen , when we were working in the group, she had us examine every area of our life to find out where we were settling: from, using an old toothbrush to raggedy underwear, or maybe even stretched out pajamas.
[00:10:40] All of those things had these little impacts on what you're expecting. So think of yourself as the pregnant mom who expects, not hopes, only the best. And with her imagination, she's able to live the result in [00:11:00] magnificent detail until she has the experience of physically holding her baby. It's why when I taught childbirth classes, I suggested that they not allow people to share their negative birth experiences.
[00:11:15] Simply say, No thank you. Things don't always turn out the way that you had hoped or the way that you had expected, but there's really no use worrying about it until you're there. You have to nurture and care for your desires, and only by becoming unreasonable in your expectations can you really turn your deepest desires into reality.
[00:11:41] Expectations are ideas that are built on solid rock. They're unshakeable, unlike hopes and wishes that wash away with the first storm that comes along. You don't need special skills or knowledge to raise your expectations. You simply need to make a decision that from [00:12:00] this point forward, you won't ever again settle for anything less than you can possibly be, or anything less than you can possibly have.
[00:12:10] You must control and direct the focus of your mind on what you want, not on what you don't want. What you say to yourself, the images you imagine, and your behavior are what you can use to consciously control and direct. But only if you choose to, otherwise you'll revert back and go with the flow of whatever comes along.
[00:12:35] Only by consciously and consistently nurturing your desires and emotions, can you live your life by your own standards and create the expectations of a life of abundance and fulfillment, whatever that is for you. If you want help creating that life, please join one of my Design Your Decade workshops, and better yet, join my [00:13:00] group coaching program, which starts in January and consists of a community that's also working towards their desires.
[00:13:08] If you join now, you get $500 off and a free registration for one of the upcoming Design Your Decade workshops, and a few other early bird bonuses too. There will be a link for both of them in my show notes. You can also reach out and I will get the links to you. Remember, create an expectation by making an intentional decision and nurturing it by never settling for anything less than the best you deserve it.
[00:13:42] That's it for now. Have a great rest of your day and I will see you in here next week. Bye for now.
[00:13:50] Thank you for listening to the Extraordinary Life Podcast with writer and coach Crystal Obregon. We'd love to connect with you outside of the podcast too. To find more helpful insights, show [00:14:00] notes, and more about Crystal, go to Crystal Obregon.com.
[00:14:04] O B R E G O N, where you'll also find info for the Design Your Decade workshop. This workshop will help you to stop drifting and start creating. Until next time, be extraordinary.