Podcast Episode #68
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Extraordinary Life Podcast from the creator of the Extraordinary Life Tribe, Crystal Obregon, the Self Development Podcast propelling you forward toward your goals using science backed high performance habits. Reach the next level in your physical and mental health. See new heights in your relationships.
[00:00:18] Gain clarity on your purpose and live your extraordinary life. Welcome your host, writer, speaker and coach, Crystal Obregon.
[00:00:29] Hi there. This is Crystal of Crystal Obregon Coaching with Episode Number 68 of the Extraordinary Life Podcast. As I'm recording this, I'm going through my fifth recertification for High Performance Coaching, and in today's class we role-played the coaching session on courage.
[00:00:52] It reminded me how important courage is to me because contrary to popular [00:01:00] belief, for most of us, courage isn't running into a burning building or jumping into a rushing river to save someone. It's a lot more subtle than that. Courage can be as simple as pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, which is required if you want to move towards your goals and dreams.
[00:01:23] Your goals and dreams never lie in the sphere of your comfort zone. If you want to achieve your goals and dreams, you'll have to take risks and challenge yourself, and you'll face failure, not just once or twice, but plenty of times. Dreaming isn't for cowards, and it's not for people who can't find the courage to leave their comfort zones behind.
[00:01:48] It's not for people who aren't brave enough to take that first step out the door, for example. You can't find the love of your life without talking to someone for the first time, [00:02:00] and you can't land your dream job without interviewing for it in most cases. Chances are if you're listening to this, you're familiar with stepping out of your comfort zone, at least some of the time.
[00:02:13] If you're listening to this, you probably want to change your life for the better, and you're finally taking action towards your goals or at least thinking about it. But if you're not moving forward as quickly as you'd like to, you'll want to listen to today's episode. Today I'd like to talk about your comfort zone and why staying in it could be killing your dreams.
[00:02:41] We all like getting comfortable. We like living and doing things in comfort. In this day of instant gratification, you can easily get the things you want. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. I think you should surround yourself with things that make your life easier. [00:03:00] I don't think you should settle for less than you want.
[00:03:03] That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is living in your safe zone. At first, you might feel happy, satisfied, and safe in a zone where you're able to do things that don't stress you out or make you anxious. Eventually, however, you become bored and uninspired. You become unhappy and your dreams get relegated to the back burner.
[00:03:29] Many people still don't want to rock the boat even though they're unhappy. Does this sound like you? Even a little bit? You want to leave things the way that they are. You've gotten so used to comfort that the mere thought of leaving it to do something uncomfortable leaves you in a cold sweat. So what does that mean for you?
[00:03:50] It means you've changed and not for the better, either. Where your dreams once consumed you, you become passive and maybe even fearful. [00:04:00] You may want to go out and chase your dreams, but you're afraid that if you do leave your comfort zone, you won't be able to find your way back. You think it might disappear. What if the grass isn't greener?
[00:04:14] Here's the thing though. Your comfort zones don't remain constant forever. As you grow older and have more life experiences, your comfort zones grow with you or they shrink. It can go either way. You get to decide.
[00:04:30] Think of it this way, what's inside your comfort zone right now used to be outside of it at one point. For example, look at your home. For most of us, our homes are the centers of our comfort zones. It's where we go to sleep, eat, relax, have fun with the family, all that good stuff. But have you always lived in the same home? Did you always have the same people living in your home?
[00:04:55] I'm gonna guess that your answer is going to be a big no. [00:05:00] So before you moved into your present home, you're living somewhere else, and that somewhere else was also part of your comfort zone. When you decided to move from your old home to the new one, you may have felt scared, excited too, but mostly scared. You were leaving your old comfort zone behind.
[00:05:19] What if you didn't like your new home? What if you didn't like your neighbors? There are all kinds of things to worry about. But after a few days, weeks, or months of living at your new home, you suddenly realized that it had become your new comfort zone. You no longer felt scared. Your new home was no longer the unknown. You settled in, you felt comfortable.
[00:05:42] This can happen with a new job, a new relationship, becoming a parent. So many things. There's nothing wrong with being comfortable. After all, everyone seeks it no matter what their life status is. But when comfort suddenly interferes with your dreams and goals in [00:06:00] life, it becomes a problem.
[00:06:02] When you get to the point where you let your comfort zone take precedent over your dreams, then it's a problem. Your comfort zone has become a problem, and the thing is, problems aren't meant to fester. They're meant to be solved and remedied. So when your comfort zone stands between you and your dreams, you need to make the right choice if you want to succeed.
[00:06:25] Ask yourself, "what's your biggest dream or goal in life? How long have you had that dream? What have you done to accomplish it? Do you feel like you're getting closer to achieving your goal?" If you've been stuck in your comfort zone, you may find these questions hard and painful depending on how long you've been stuck.
[00:06:46] You'll probably remember that at some point in your life you were full of dreams. Yes, dreams change, but have you been moving forward? Look around where you are now. Do you like what you see? [00:07:00] Is it what you envisioned? Maybe, maybe not. Only you know that answer. If it's not, it might be time to breathe some new life into your dreams.
[00:07:11] Successful people say your comfort zone is where your dreams go to die, because at some point they too were languishing in their comfort zone, but they had dreams, and their dreams took them far away from their comfort zones. If they didn't leave their comfort zones, they'd still be where they were years ago, doing the same things over and over, but they didn't settle for that kind of life.
[00:07:38] They made their dreams more important than their comfort. Life threw challenges and obstacles at them, but they kept on, they kept fighting for their dreams. Sure, they made mistakes and they failed countless times, but it didn't deter them from their dreams, at least not for long.
[00:07:57] If you think that's not true, if [00:08:00] all you see is so-called overnight successes, you're not seeing the whole picture, and that's part of the problem. We see success, but we don't see what it took to get there. We don't see the mistakes and the failures. We only see the success. To get their success, they had to set their eyes on the prize far into the future.
[00:08:22] They knew what they had to do, and they knew that if they settled in their comfort zone, they wouldn't reach their goals. They'd never achieve their dreams. I'm watching my son go through this. He has big dreams of becoming a professional bike racer. He's been using all of his time to train and race, and we live in California and it's not the hotbed of racing these days.
[00:08:46] So in California he's won a lot of races, but this fall he had to go outside of his comfort zone to race on the east coast of the US. And it's much more competitive [00:09:00] and he's been struggling with some back pain. It's tough, and he's had some obstacles and disappointments, and now he's racing in Europe for two weeks and it will be even harder and more competitive.
[00:09:14] But it's really what he has to do if he wants to achieve his dream of being a professional bike racer. When he comes back, he'll have to see a physical therapist and he'll probably have to do some exercises on a consistent basis if he wants to have a healthy back and race with full power. It's not the sexy, fun side of racing, but if he wants to move towards his goal, he'll have to be disciplined.
[00:09:42] I actually think it's a little easier to step out of your comfort zone when you're younger, but it's still hard. Most of his peers here in California aren't pushing themselves the way he is. They're staying here and winning races and feeling good. Even I remember pushing [00:10:00] publish on my first blog post six and a half years ago.
[00:10:03] I was so nervous to push that button. Even this podcast, I had to push myself outside of my comfort zone to start it a year and a half ago. Each of us has the potential to achieve their goals. But if you remain trapped in your comfort zone, you'll never know your true potential.
[00:10:25] Imagine a bird trapped in a small cage. The bird knows it can fly, but as long as it's caged, it will never know how high it can fly. That bird might be you. If you're stuck in your comfort zone, you're trapped in your cage. My mentor, Brendan Burchard, calls it "The Cage Life." The good news is that unlike a caged bird, you can actually choose to leave your comfort zone.
[00:10:51] If you want to uncover your true potential, then you'll need to unlock your cage. That's the first thing you need to do. Once your cage is [00:11:00] open, you can go after your dreams, but dreams can be fickle. One minute you see it clearly, the next it's far away. If you wanna accomplish your dreams, you must have a plan.
[00:11:11] Not just any plan, but a solid well thought out plan, a plan that may require you to learn new things and acquire new skills. In your comfort zone, you don't have the opportunity to learn and try new things. In your comfort zone, you've already mastered everything. Trying new things made you edgy and made you uncomfortable.
[00:11:34] But outside your comfort zone, you don't have those limitations. Outside your comfort zone, you'll experience opportunities that weren't previously available to you. It's up to you to grab and hold onto those opportunities. They'll build your skills and your knowledge. They'll bring you closer to your goals.
[00:11:54] If you've been hanging out in your comfort zone, or if you feel like your dreams [00:12:00] have been derailed in the craziness of the past few years, please join me in one of my Design Your Decade workshops. They're held on Zoom so you can join from anywhere, and they're completely interactive. We'll spend time evaluating 2022, the good and the bad, clarify your big goals and dreams, and then decide what you want to focus on for 2023 that will move you closer.
[00:12:27] This is two hours of your life that will set the stage for moving forward and out of your comfort zone. The first workshops are happening November 30th and December 1st, and I will have the links in the show notes along with the link to the information page for my group coaching program that's starting in January.
[00:12:49] If you join now, you get $500 off as an early bird and a free registration for one of the upcoming Design Your Decade workshops. [00:13:00] That's it for now. Have a great rest of your day. Push yourself outside your comfort zone at least a little bit, and I will see you in here next week. Bye for now.
[00:13:12] Thank you for listening to the Extraordinary Life Podcast with writer and coach, Crystal Obregon.
[00:13:17] We'd love to connect with you outside of the podcast too. To find more helpful insights, show notes, and more about Crystal, go to Crystal Obregon.com. O B R E G O N, where you'll also find info for the Design Your Decade workshop. This workshop will help you to stop drifting and start creating. Until next time, be extraordinary.