Podcast Episode #71
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Extraordinary Life Podcast from the creator of the Extraordinary Life Tribe, Crystal Obregon, the Self Development Podcast propelling you forward toward your goals using science backed high performance habits. Reach the next level in your physical and mental health. See new heights in your relationships.
[00:00:18] Gain clarity on your purpose and live your extraordinary life. Welcome your host, writer, speaker and coach, Crystal Obregon. Hi there. This is Crystal of Crystal Obregon Coaching with Episode number 71 of the Extraordinary Life Podcast. Today I'm continuing with a topic of the mindset changes you need to take to step out of your comfort zone and follow your dreams.
[00:00:49] This weekend I had the surprise pleasure of opening a book I bought for a friends monthly book group she hosts, called the Dream Giver by Bruce [00:01:00] Wilkinson. It's a short book, and the first half is a parable about the journey to following your dreams, and I love that it states that everyone is born with a dream, and then the second half is his steps to following your dream or dreams.
[00:01:18] It felt like quite a coincidence that much of the book is about leaving your comfort zone, or as he calls it, the familiar. I just love reading different takes on the same topic. This book was written almost 20 years ago, but you can go back as far as you want for examples of the hero's journey. It's universal and it's worth talking about as it's helpful to know that everyone experiences obstacles on their way to living out their dreams, and really it's only the people that quit or don't get started in the first place that don't get there.
[00:01:53] So back to the idea of leaving your comfort zone. I'd just like to remind you that your [00:02:00] dreams do lie way outside your comfort zone. And specifically today I'd like to talk about replacing negative thinking with positive thinking. If you let your negativity get in the way, you'll stay stuck in your comfort zone.
[00:02:15] You'll feel sorry for yourself, and you'll resent everyone who has dared to do the things that you know you'll never do. So before negativity consumes you, here are a few important pointers you need to follow so that you can see the light at the end of your comfort zone.
[00:02:36] First off, focus on what really matters.
[00:02:40] You've got your goal in mind and you've even created a solid plan to achieve your goal. But it's so easy to lose sight of that when you're faced with so many obstacles and your comfort zone looks so inviting. In fact, I'd like to tell you a little bit about what my comfort zone looks like, [00:03:00] that place that if I really think about it, it just feels like it'd be so easy to go back to it.
[00:03:07] What it looks like is shutting down my computer and putting my whole heart into taking care of my family. It looks like dissolving the boundaries I put around my work time and being completely available. It looks like spending most of my time cooking, cleaning the house, and doing yard work, and those are things that I mostly enjoy doing.
[00:03:33] In my comfort zone. I also have a lot more time for exercise, and life looks much easier in my comfort zone. I'm not having to balance my family and home life with my mission to help more women achieve their dreams. It helps to know what your comfort zone is so that honestly you can resist it when the going gets hard.
[00:03:57] Your comfort zone might be a comfortable [00:04:00] job that you don't really love, or a city that doesn't fit your lifestyle anymore. So before you close the door to your dreams and fall back into your comfort zone, you need to remind yourself what really matters to you. Why did you choose that particular goal or dream?
[00:04:18] If you've created a journal for your journey, then you can simply look up your entries or notes from when you started. That's why I hold my Design Your Decade workshops every year, and why I recommend writing down your 10 dreams every single day. In that workshop, you would've written down your hopes and dreams, and more importantly, your why.
[00:04:41] Your why is what you really need to focus on. It's the reason you're doing what you're doing. It's why you're taking risks and facing all these difficult challenges head on. So don't let those obstacles stop you. Remember your why, and you'll remember all the [00:05:00] hopeful positive thoughts you had at the beginning of your journey when you were still excited about the journey ahead before you'd hit any obstacles. This practice motivates you and it gives you a good kick in the pants.
[00:05:16] The second thing to remember is that there's no limit to what you can do. You are given your dream for a reason. Negative thinkers are severely limited by their negativity. They'll find it hard to do something good or anything noteworthy at all because their negativity is going to pull them.
[00:05:37] Even though they may have the skills and talents to go after their dreams, they don't use them to their advantage. The defeatist attitude is going to pull the plug on their dreams or somebody else's too. They don't necessarily limit it to their own dreams. You can have a different story. Don't forget that outside your [00:06:00] comfort zone, you won't have those restrictive walls.
[00:06:04] Remember that by leaving your comfort zone, you'll uncover your true potential, whatever that is. When you think positively, you'll be able to see previously hidden opportunities. You'll be open to the possibilities.
[00:06:21] The third tip is actually to look forward to your failures. Unless you were with that person that you see as a success story, every single step of their journey, you won't see the failures they experienced on their way to success.
[00:06:38] Every successful person has failed many, many times. Your failures will literally show you what you need to do so you can succeed, or it'll show you what not to do so that you can succeed. At least this is what a positive person will say. However negative thinkers will push [00:07:00] back at you if you give them that advice, they may even tell you that because of your failures, you won't succeed and you may as well quit.
[00:07:09] You might tell yourself that, or it could be another well-meaning person, like a friend or family member, don't believe them, or yourself. Ask any successful person if they had a smooth journey towards their success, or if they didn't suffer any hiccups or failures on the way to the top, they'll probably have a chuckle and they'll probably tell you about all the mistakes they made, the failures, the countless nights they spent trying to understand what their failures were telling them.
[00:07:41] Then they'll tell you that without going through failure, they wouldn't be where they are today. Failure's gotten a bad rap, but it's not really all that bad. Think about it. When you fail at something, it shows you what you can't and shouldn't be doing the next time. But [00:08:00] it also shows you that you're out there giving it a try, and the more failures you have, the closer you'll be toward your goals.
[00:08:08] You're just crossing off all the ways your plan isn't working, and you'll eventually find the right combination, the right process, the right system that will lead you to success. I save the best tip for last, and this is also where the practice of writing your dreams every day comes in.
[00:08:29] Be excited about your future.
[00:08:32] Negative people aren't excited about their lives. They're not looking forward to what the future can bring them. Instead of looking for the possibilities, they're looking for what won't work about their situation or circumstances. And if you're looking for what won't work, you'll definitely find it just as if you're looking for the ways that will work,
[00:08:54] you'll also find those. The people that are negative [00:09:00] thinkers are suspicious of anything that falls outside their comfort zone or yours for that matter. They're the naysayers that predict doom and gloom for everyone. You wouldn't wanna spend too much time with that kind of person would you? If you do, then chances are you'll stop looking forward to your future too.
[00:09:21] You won't be looking forward to the time when you'll finally achieve those first steps toward your success. So don't be that person either. When you think positively, you'll still be aware of the dark clouds on the horizon. I'm not saying that everything's going to be unicorns and rainbows. However, instead of honing in on the negative, you'll focus on the positives and you'll look forward to your future.
[00:09:47] Remember that that's where gratitude comes in, too, is using the gratitude practice to notice what's going right in your life. And to keep yourself from spiraling [00:10:00] downwards when you do experience the inevitable failures and obstacles. Next week, I'll chat about how working on your self-discipline is such an important step towards achieving your goals.
[00:10:14] In the meantime, I do hope you'll join me in one of my Design Your Decade workshops. They're held on Zoom so you can join from anywhere. And they're completely interactive so that you can learn from other people, and other people can learn from you. We'll evaluate 2022 and cover and clarify your big goals and dreams and decide what you wanna focus on for 2023 to get closer to those big dreams.
[00:10:45] This is two hours of your life that will set the stage for moving forward and out of your comfort zone. I'll have the link to the workshops in the show notes, and that's it for now. Have a great, positive, [00:11:00] beautiful day, and I will see you in here next week. Bye for now. Thank you for listening to the Extraordinary Life Podcast with writer and coach, Crystal Obregon.
[00:11:10] We'd love to connect with you outside of the podcast too. To find more helpful insights, show notes, and more about Crystal, go to Crystal Obregon.com. O B R E G O N, where you'll also find info for the Design Your Decade workshop. This workshop will help you to stop drifting and start creating. Until next time, be extraordinary.
