Podcast Episode #72
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Extraordinary Life Podcast from the creator of the Extraordinary Life Tribe, Crystal Obregon, the Self Development Podcast, propelling you forward toward your goals using science backed high performance habits. Reach the next level in your physical and mental health. See new heights in your relationships.
[00:00:18] Gain clarity on your purpose and live your extraordinary life. Welcome your host, writer, speaker and coach, Crystal Obregon. Hi there. This is Crystal of Crystal Obregon Coaching with Episode Number 72 of the Extraordinary Life Podcast. This week I'm tackling the topic of self-discipline and its importance on breaking out of your comfort zone to follow your dreams .
[00:00:49] This is one that I'm especially working on lately. You may remember back in May, I tried the 75 hard challenge and only made it about [00:01:00] halfway. I had all kinds of excuses to stop because the road to success for anything is full of temptations and distraction, and I've definitely had my fill in this past year.
[00:01:14] Without self-discipline, you can easily go off target. I'm being honest here that I definitely have, instead of taking action on your goals, you might be off gallivanting somewhere. In my case. I was keeping up with some things like this podcast and my blog, but not doing some of the other things I know I need to do to move my business forward so that I can help more people.
[00:01:42] Someone in my mastermind or somewhere else called it coasting. Coasting is fine for a little while, but if you keep it up, you don't get where you wanna go. In fact, you may even backslide a bit. Success takes commitment, and to stay [00:02:00] committed, you need self-discipline. The first step in self-discipline is simply learning to say no.
[00:02:08] In many cases, saying no isn't really that hard. But the reality is that it can be easier said than done. I'll be honest, one of my biggest distractions this year has been the support of my son in his bike racing. I think it's a pretty common issue with parents to put their own dreams on hold to help their kids pursue theirs.
[00:02:33] Of course, we want to help our kids pursue their goals, and it's an important role as a parent. But there has to be some balance. That's why having boundaries in place is important. The boundary is a line you're not supposed to cross. You want to focus on your goals, and the boundaries you set will help you to classify things as either useful and [00:03:00] helpful, going towards your goals or a complete waste of time.
[00:03:05] If someone or something tempts you to cross that line. And you know it's going to do you more harm than good, then you need to say no. Even if it might be something that normally you would like to do, but it's not a good time, you just have to say it. The first time you say no to something, you may feel uncomfortable.
[00:03:26] After all, most of us want to help, but over time, the more you say no to temptations, the stronger your resolve becomes and the easier it gets for you to reject distractions. You can't keep saying yes just to make a friend your family, or even people in your community happy. Depending on how close you are to the person that's asking you to do something, you might be able to tell them why you've set the boundaries or limits for yourself and tell them about your [00:04:00] goals.
[00:04:00] Tell them how giving into the request is going to be counterproductive for you. On the other hand, you can also just say, no, it's not a good time for you without further explanation. You get to be in charge of your own time. Of course, it's more difficult the closer the person is to you. It's a balance of what you say yes and no to.
[00:04:24] Mutual support is important in relationships, even with your kids. That's why these next two tips are important. After all, the most important part of productivity is deciding what matters most and making the time for it, not just being efficient, so that you can pile more busywork on your already full plate.
[00:04:49] Good habits are important. They help you define who you are. Replacing bad habits with good habits is important, but how [00:05:00] do you know which habits are bad? For starters, bad habits are those that don't contribute anything to your growth. They don't do anything to help you achieve your goals, rather, they're really a distraction.
[00:05:13] Of course, some habits like smoking or drinking can even be destructive. Excessive tv watching and eating fast food on a regular basis while seemingly not related to your goals, can also have a negative impact. Once you've identified your bad habits, you need to make a conscious decision to stop doing them.
[00:05:36] Even if it's something like watching too much tv, you can use it as a hook. For example, let's say the moment you want to sit down on the couch and turn on the tv, you stop, take a deep breath and do something positive, like picking up a book about something you want to learn about instead. That can be a great replacement [00:06:00] activity.
[00:06:00] It might not be related to your goal, but it does help you build your self-discipline muscle. That's how you build positive habits. In the 75 hard that I mentioned earlier, the daily commitment was drinking four quarts of water, reading 10 pages of nonfiction, following a diet of my choosing, (mine was no dairy, gluten, or sugar), exercising twice per day for 45 minutes.
[00:06:29] One of those needed to be outside. Yoga, walking, both counted and not drinking any alcohol. I'm pretty sure that's it. Those things weren't necessarily related to my big goal. Although being fit and healthy and exercising every day is part of the list of dreams I write every day. Being disciplined enough to do those every day, absolutely built my discipline muscle.
[00:06:58] Stay tuned [00:07:00] for when I try again, probably in the new year. Replacing your old bad habits with new ones is how you build your positive habits. This even applies to replacing negative thoughts with positive. It takes practice. Habits don't form overnight as much as we'd like them to. It can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months for a habit to stick.
[00:07:25] As you focus on building your new habits, you'll realize you've been developing your self-discipline as well. Accountability is another component of developing self-discipline. There are two kinds. Accountability to others and accountability to yourself. It's actually easier to be accountable to others, especially if you choose to be accountable to someone who sincerely wants you to succeed.
[00:07:55] They won't mince words if they find out you've not been taking action on your [00:08:00] goals, or hesitate to tell you if you've been spending too much time playing instead of working. Being accountable to yourself is much harder. To pull it off successfully, you do need lots of self-discipline and self-control.
[00:08:16] It's easier to lie to yourself and deny responsibility. However, if you've made it a practice to live your life with integrity, self-accountability will be easier for you. Paper journals are great for self-accountability. Or if you like the convenience of modern technology, there are plenty of computer software apps that can help you.
[00:08:42] To help improve your self-discipline and reach your goals faster, I do recommend practicing both self-accountability and accountability to others. That's one of the great things about the Extraordinary Life Tribe, my group coaching program is the aspect [00:09:00] of accountability to the other women in the group. I love how the women share tips to help you succeed as well, because our struggles definitely tend to be universal.
[00:09:14] My last thought today on self-discipline is for you to reward your hard work. Mastering self-discipline isn't easy, but you'll be able to accomplish so much more when you've built that muscle. Saying no and building new habits aren't easy, but both are awesome achievements that deserve to be rewarded. So having a reward system in place is important.
[00:09:38] It keeps you motivated and gives you something to look forward to. Rewards can be long and short term. For example, you could tell yourself if you finish your weekly list of tasks by Friday, you'll treat yourself to an evening out with your partner or an nice walk after work. If you've accomplished a big goal, it can [00:10:00] be something bigger like a weekend away.
[00:10:03] The right rewards will help you reinforce your goals and dreams in life, especially if you celebrate those wins with others. We'll be looking back on 2022 in my Design Your Decade workshops so that we can celebrate our wins together. So I do hope that you'll join us. They're coming up. And I'll have the link to the workshops in the show notes.
[00:10:29] Next week, I will be talking about a very popular topic, and that's what to do if you're in a slump. That's it for now. Have a great rest of your day and I will see you in here next week. Bye for now.
[00:10:45] Thank you for listening to the Extraordinary Life Podcast with writer and coach, Crystal Obregon. We'd love to connect with you outside of the podcast too.
[00:10:52] To find more helpful insights, show notes, and more about Crystal, go to Crystal Obregon.com. O B R E [00:11:00] G O N, where you'll also find info for the Design Your Decade workshop. This workshop will help you to stop drifting and start creating. Until next time, be extraordinary.