Podcast final #23
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Extraordinary Life Podcast, from the creator of the Extraordinary Life Tribe, Crystal Obregon, the self-development podcast propelling you forward toward your goals. Using science backed high performance habits. Reach the next level in your physical and mental health. See new heights in your relationships.
[00:00:18] Gain clarity on your purpose and live your extraordinary life. Welcome your host writer, speaker and coach Crystal Obregon. Hi there. This is Crystal of crystal Obregon Coaching with episode number 23 of the Extraordinary Life Podcast. Again, this week in anticipation of an online event, I'm participating in as a speaker called the Gather Community Winter Celebration.
[00:00:49] I'm sharing the talk I gave last December in the first Gather event called the Creator Sessions. The link to attend the Winter Celebration [00:01:00] on December 10th will be included in the show notes. It's interactive, fun, and filled with great speakers and community. Last December, I spoke about Developing a Mindset For Momentum.
[00:01:15] It's a great topic for this time of year. As we revisit our goals and dreams, as we look at what worked and didn't in the past year and set our goals and intentions for the coming year with that said a few things I say may not be applicable as this was a live interactive environment, but please listen in and as always take what works for you.
[00:01:41] Without further ado. I am ready if you are a crystal and I am going to tell you a little, just a little bit about crystal and we're going to let her take it away. Crystal is a Certified High Performance Coach. And she specialized in coaching, teaching and mentoring women and a few smart men in their second [00:02:00] act.
[00:02:00] So she helps you clarify your purpose and at this stage of life so that you can help achieve for yourself more fulfillment and more freedom. You can learn those critical concepts to reach your full potential and create more joy, confidence, and momentum in your life. Crystal's going to talk today about some goal-setting I right now on the top of my, off the top of my head, I'm getting stumbly.
[00:02:24] So I'm going to just let you take it away. Crystal, please take the floor.
[00:02:30] All right. Thank you very much. So our topic for today is how to develop a mindset for momentum. So the first thing that is super important is evaluating where you are right now. I would like everyone to rate your level of momentum that you feel towards your dreams and goals on a scale of one to 10, with one being no momentum at all, and 10 being you're totally on fire.[00:03:00]
[00:03:00] You're moving forward. You are doing great. Every week. I have a place where I assess how I did in the past week. And that really makes a lot of difference in creating momentum. All right. So I'm getting eights nines tens. That's Austin seven, six. Okay. We have a range that you are probably a five in higher.
[00:03:27] And remember that always when we're assessing ourselves, it's really in the moment, it doesn't have to take this huge amount of time. It's in the moment. And we're always also going to be moving forward, because as much as I'm a proponent for living in the now and being present, there's also a place score moving forward in order to create momentum.
[00:03:53] We also have to look at where we lose momentum and then work backwards. We are going [00:04:00] to look at. The four ways that people fail when they're trying to create momentum in their lives. We are going to flip that to the positive on how to counteract that negative, that we have the first way that people tend to fail when they are trying to have more momentum in.
[00:04:23] Is that they fail to see beyond the now what that means is that you're feeling like you're stuck in your current circumstances. You aren't able to project how things will be, or even you're really not even able to believe that you can get yourself out of it. And so there are two things that you can do to get yourself out of that when expect more of yourself, even whatever your current circumstances are, whether you have kids in diapers or you're taking care of a parent, people have [00:05:00] circumstances they're dealing with.
[00:05:01] So do you try and expect more of yourself? And then the second one is, envision your future and really spend some time. Thinking about how you want things to be, whether it's becoming fitter, losing weight, having a better relationship with your partner or your kids. Always. I have things on my dreams. Like I want my kids to, you know, in 10 years I still want them to do a family trip with me every year.
[00:05:30] How I am acting today is that going to get me to a place with my relationship with my kids? That they want to go on a family trip with me. It's a bit of a measuring stick. And so that leads me to the second ways that people fail is that they fail to see the consequences of their actions asking what are the positive or negative consequences of your current actions in what [00:06:00] you're doing to move forward.
[00:06:02] We can look at how I behave with my kids or how I treat my kids and how I'm interacting with them. Is that creating what I want for that teacher. And then also looking at the negative is that taking me further from that teacher, with my kids. So just thinking about what are the positive and negative consequences.
[00:06:28] Um, as my actions or of the things that I'm doing every single day. All right. The third way that people fail to move forward or gain momentum is they fail to do the research. So what does that mean? Do the research? Well, if you have your dreams, whether they're with your business or your relationships or your fitness, whatever those are.
[00:06:57] Are you doing the research? If you want to [00:07:00] be fitter, or if you want to eat better, are you developing a plan? Are you working with somebody? I know we have some people later that that's their area of expertise. Are you designing your curriculum? When my kids were younger, I was reading so many books on raising kids.
[00:07:20] And I have to say, I don't need as many of those anymore. Maybe I should. But I knew how I wanted things to be. So I was doing the research when I want to eat better, then I'm going to at least buy cookbooks that have healthy recipes in them. That's what I'm talking about is designing my curriculum. If I want to improve in my business, then I am going to either invest in a coach or invest in programs to teach me how to do that.
[00:07:51] And so that's called designing your curriculum. Okay. Number four is failure to block time. [00:08:00] If I looked at your calendar right now, would I see that you have blocked time to work on your dreams? So the first thing is knowing what your dreams are. And then the second thing is if your dream really means something to you.
[00:08:17] Then I can look at your calendar and see where you've blocked the time I have to say, okay, when am I working on that? And I block an hour, a day to work on my dream. If one of my goals is to get fitter on my mountain bike again, partly so that I can keep up with my son. And partly because it's something that I really enjoy and have enjoyed in the past.
[00:08:40] So, where is that on my calendar? Am I putting it to ride my bike? So remove the distractions, set your boundaries and create consistent time. Blocks is super important. The thing is, is that everybody has the same 24 hours in their day. One of the reasons that I [00:09:00] was attracted to high-performance coaching is that the most successful people, they get an asleep.
[00:09:05] They exercise. They eat well, they have good relationships. All of this things are really important for being successful in the longterm, putting that consistent block time, where you focus on the things that are important. Everyone has time to do that. And if you are saying that you don't have time to do that.
[00:09:27] And I know that I used to do that too well. I'm a mom. I've got to take kids up. I've got to schlep them around. I've got to do. And when I decided that, no, yes, I need to do those things, but what can I take out? What distractions are taking me away from my dreams, because I can't sit it does it. I can ask my husband to do some of that in Dallas.
[00:09:51] And even now I'm delegating with my kids. This pandemic is working out great, or me sending my daughter to the store to do [00:10:00] most of the grocery shopping. All right. Those are the four main things that keep people from going for their goals. I'll go into the next four things that people are afraid of because identifying those things that you are afraid of.
[00:10:20] It makes a big difference and being aware of them because you might not be, if you're consistently stepping away, then it's very possible that there is something that you're afraid of. The first is kind of big it's fear of rooms. You're afraid that if you really go all in on your dreams, if you really go for it, you won't be successful that maybe you'll spend all your money.
[00:10:46] I don't know. Maybe it'll take all your time and you won't have time with your kids or with your partner or with your family or with your friends. There's all kinds of those things that can stop you. [00:11:00] Don't catastrophize, write down what you're afraid of and notice those patterns. I did that this week. I catastrophized and it's easy to do this year, but Tuesday night I was having the second of my workshops and about half an hour before it was supposed to start, the power went off.
[00:11:18] It's like, okay, it's not going to come back on based on everything else that's happened this year. And so I scrambled around. Got ahold of everyone counseled slash postponed it. And the power actually came back on before it was going to start. So I felt a little crummy. I can't be too hard on myself PD.
[00:11:39] And he said it was Andy, come back on. I can see. Okay. I could talk justifies based on what's happened this year, that it wasn't going to come back on. So notice when you're doing. Okay. Second fear of rejection. People can be afraid of feeling like a fool, embarrassing themselves with [00:12:00] their friends or their family, or having this big dream.
[00:12:04] And if you're not successful, you're afraid that people might make fun of you or talk behind your back. It's not really. But that's the thing is it's not high school. People want you to succeed. If they don't want you to succeed, then maybe you look at that relationship a little bit. Sometimes you can't because it's your family assess what are the risks that you've taken this year?
[00:12:30] Where could you have done better? Where could you have taken some opportunities and you didn't. On the other hand also celebrate, if you did take some risks and you did take some opportunities. No matter if they worked out or not congratulate yourself on that as well. And then looking forward constantly be assessing yourself.
[00:12:53] Can I take this risk? Can I take this opportunity? And that's where really knowing what your dreams [00:13:00] are will help is you can look at opportunities as will this opportunity take me forward towards my dreams or won't it, because if it won't then take it out, but if it will. Keeping there. Okay. This third thing is fear of responsibility.
[00:13:19] So does that mean, that means that. If you do achieve your dream, if you do get what you want, are you in the back of your head actually afraid of that responsibility? So I have one of my dreams for 10 years from now, and I hope it happens before that is to have a thousand people in my coaching membership community.
[00:13:44] Am I worried about that responsibility of coming up with content and. And showing up for people every single month while I'd better look at that because if I am, and if I don't work through it, then I could sabotage [00:14:00] myself. I could pull back. Number four is fear of regret. What does that mean? That means that you're afraid that if you move forward with that momentum, if you move forward to that dream, you might regret it.
[00:14:18] There are two things that you can do for that appreciate where you are right now. Appreciate how you show up, appreciate who is in your life. And I know that almost unilaterally, everyone I talk to has realized in this past year, how important relationships are and how important it is to make time for them.
[00:14:42] I don't know about anybody else, but I feel so blessed and so grateful. I feel more connected to people than I ever have. It's amazing. But I've had to take those opportunities to do that, even though a good portion of it is [00:15:00] on our zoom, but it's something for sure. And then the second thing is to forgive yourself for the past, if you're really hard on yourself, not really appreciating where you might have made mistakes and said, that's okay.
[00:15:17] I made a mistake and I learned from it and I'm going to move forward. Then you probably will be afraid of regret because of how you treat yourself. So forgive yourself for your past mistakes and learn from them and then move forward. That's all you can do. All right. So that's all I have for right now.
[00:15:38] I have a couple of things I want to recap, right?
[00:15:41] Four ways people fail and four fears life in a nutshell, right. Something. In all in one of those things is something that we can all relate to. I do have a question. I didn't catch the word for the second fear. Okay. The second fear was [00:16:00] fear of rejection. Rejection could be embarrassment or not fitting in with one of those base needs.
[00:16:11] I want to give you a little brief testimonial about the designer decade. You mentioned that I went to. I will tell you guys, you know, that I work on those of you who know me. I work on goals. I teach goals like all of these things, but the way crystal guides you through that workshop, I personally struggle with looking too far into the future based on my history and trauma and all of the things.
[00:16:36] And it was very impactful and, and easy to do, right. It allowed me that freedom and that ability to let go of the fact that I haven't been able to do it in the past. And I just followed her along as we went. And I ended up with a vision for 10 years from now, and the thought of what's going to happen after that even right, where normally I would have [00:17:00] only looked maybe a couple of years ahead.
[00:17:02] So I thought it was fantastic. It is a hundred percent. Worthwhile and worth your time. So I highly recommend thank you, Tracy. Absolutely. Thank you so much. Great job, crystal. Really appreciate you. You guys definitely reach out to crystal and take advantage of the things that she has in on our resources page.
[00:17:22] Take advantage of this workshop. If you can connect with her, she's an incredible coach and I can't thank you enough for kicking off our day.
[00:17:31] Thank you for listening in. As I said at the beginning, the Gather Community Winter Celebration is happening on December 10th. There are various levels of tickets available.
[00:17:44] The link for more information and to register is in the show notes. As is the link for the three different live two hour Design Your Decade Workshops that are happening on December 14th and 15th. I hope to see you [00:18:00] at one or both of them. That's it for now. Have a great rest of your day and see you in here next to.
[00:18:08] Bye for now. Thank you for listening to the Extraordinary Life Podcast with writer and coach Crystal Obregon. We'd love to connect with you outside of the podcast, too. To find more helpful insights, show notes and more about crystal.
[00:18:21] Go to crystal obregon.com that's O B R E G O N, where you will also find info for the Design Your Decade workshop. This workshop will help you to stop drifting and start creating until next time, be extraordinary.