Once you learn to create momentum in your life, achieving your goals and dreams becomes so much easier. That’s right, you can create it! Developing a mindset for momentum will help you to do a little more every day to move closer to what you want, and less of what’s holding you back. It sounds simple, yet many of us struggle to maintain momentum, even when we briefly find it. Let’s find out why, so we can counteract those negatives and turn them into positives.
Despite what it feels like when you experience positive momentum in life, it doesn’t just happen. It’s a coming together of a lot of little pieces that support one another (and you!) to keep moving forward. Thus, when we are missing some of the pieces, creating momentum becomes a lot harder. Let’s fix that! Here are four ways we fail at creating momentum, and the positive alternatives.
1. Failure to See Beyond the Present. Every person has a unique set of circumstances that they are dealing with, and it can be easy to stay stuck in them. You might not take the time to envision how things will be in the future, or maybe not even believe that you can change things. Clearly, if you can’t look ahead, how can you create the momentum to get there?
The Solutions: The first way to see beyond the present is to expect more from yourself! If you want more, you can do it. The rest of the tips below will help with this part of your mindset, as will many of my previous blog posts. If you’re struggling to keep up with what you’ve got now, How to Increase Your Mental Energy would be a great next read for you.
The next fix is to set aside time to envision your future and how you want things to be. (My Design Your Decade workshop is designed exactly to help you do this!) Something that is on my dreams list for ten years from now is that I want my kids to go on a family trip each year with me. By spending time imagining this future, my present actions are affected; I can choose to act in a way that will create the circumstances where my kids will want to take a yearly family trip.
2. Failure to See Consequences. Once you’ve taken the time to envision your goals for the future, it’s important to also take the time to examine how your actions are affecting your desired outcome. Without this reflection, you could be sabotaging or slowing down your progress toward your goals.
The Solutions: Examine both the positive and negative consequences of your actions on what you are trying to achieve. With the example above, I can look at how I act with my kids. Is how I treat them or interact with them getting me closer or further away from those future vacations?
3. Failure to Do the Research. You can dream all you want, but if you don’t have the right skills or knowledge to get there, you are destined to fail. Many of my readers are mothers, so think back to all the research and reading you did when you had your first baby. You had the dream of a happy, content baby, so you did your research!
The Solutions: Treat your dreams like a baby you are nurturing. If you want to be fitter or healthier, learn about nutrition, buy cookbooks, invest in a meal planning service, or hire an expert to help. I like to call this “designing your curriculum”. What do you need to know to reach your goals, and how are you going to get there? If you’re not sure, then investing in a coach or program might be your first step.
4. Failure to Block Time. If I looked at your calendar right now, would I see that you have time scheduled to work on your dreams? If the answer is “no”, keep reading.
The Solutions: First, you need to give yourself permission to take time for your dreams. If you can schlep the kids to school and all their extracurriculars, get food on the table, take your elderly parents to appointments, etc… then you can make time for yourself too. You just might need to let some things go or delegate. If your partner or child confessed their dream to learn to play the guitar, you know that you’d help them to fit their lessons in. It’s your turn.
The second solution to this problem is, obviously, to schedule time for your dreams. One of my goals is to get better and fitter at mountain biking again, because I want to do it with my son and also because I really enjoy it. To make this time, I need to remove distractions, set boundaries, and create consistent blocks of time to ride.
Everyone has the same twenty-four hours in a day, and developing a mindset for momentum will help you to make the best use of them. One of the reasons I was attracted to high-performance coaching is that the most successful people manage to achieve big things while still getting enough sleep, exercising, eating well, and having good relationships. To be successful in the long term, you need to focus on the things that are important - and everyone has time to do that.
We can’t talk about mindset without talking about our fears. If you find yourself constantly stepping back from your goals, it’s very possible that there is something you’re afraid of. By examining your fears you can release the things holding you back, and start creating the forward momentum you want instead.
1. Fear of Ruin. Fear of ruin and catastrophizing is a killer of momentum, and it can look different for everyone. Perhaps you’re afraid that if you go all in on your dreams, you won’t be successful. Or you’ll have wasted your time. Or lost your money. Or won’t have time with your family. Or or or.
One way to help get past this is to write down what you’re afraid of and what that little voice is telling you. As you get better at noticing your patterns, you’ll get better at overcoming the fear.
2. Fear of Rejection. You might be afraid of looking like a fool, or embarrassing yourself in front of your family or friends, or even for having a big dream! You may be afraid that people are going to make fun of you or talk behind your back. I want to remind you that this isn’t highschool anymore, and most people truly do want to see you succeed. And if they don’t, that’s something else to examine.
To overcome the fear of rejection, get into the practice of seeing where you took a risk and it worked out. Or if it didn’t, what did you learn? Celebrate when you step outside of your comfort zone and accept small risks or opportunities. As you get clearer on what your dreams are, you’ll get even better at identifying the opportunities that will help you to achieve them.
3. Fear of Responsibility. The fear of achieving your dreams can be very real. If you get what you want, are you afraid of the responsibility that will bring? For example, I have a dream that in ten years from now, I’ll have one thousand people in my coaching membership community (though I hope it happens before then!). If I’m spending time and brain space worrying about how I’m going to create content and show up for people every month, then I need to work through that.
The alternative is that I could sabotage myself by pulling back when I should be moving forward. When these fears come up, take time to write them down and see where they are coming from. And keep in mind that your journey to that big dream comes in small steps. I’m not going to wake up tomorrow with one thousand group members, but will get there over time and I’ll develop processes along the way to support me.
4. Fear of Regret. This is the fear that if you get what you want, you’re not going to be happy or that it was all a big mistake. There are two ways to get past this. One is to appreciate where you are right now. Learn to practice gratitude, and appreciate how you show up, who is in your life, and for all that you have.
The second is to forgive yourself for the past. A fear of regret usually means you’re currently holding on to mistakes you’ve made. You may be really hard on yourself for making them, and thus want to avoid that feeling in the future. Practice forgiveness with yourself, and learn to see the lessons in mistakes then letting them go.
You can start developing a mindset for momentum today, using the solutions and tips I’ve just shared with you. But where will you let that momentum take you? Becoming clear on exactly what your dreams are is the beginning to creating and living your extraordinary life. If you’re still unsure what that looks like for you, join in one of my live or DIY Design Your Decade workshops. You’ll leave with a deep understanding of what you really want from your life, along with clarity on the next steps you need to take to make it happen.
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