Ep 34 Final _Filters_
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Extraordinary Life Podcast from the creator of the Extraordinary Life Tribe, Crystal Obregon, the self-development podcast propelling you forward toward your goals using science backed high performance habits. Reach the next level in your physical and mental health. See new heights in your relationships.
[00:00:18] Gain clarity on your purpose and live your Extraordinary Life. Welcome your host writer, speaker and coach Crystal Obregon.
[00:00:29] Hi there. This is Crystal from Crystal Obregon Coaching with Episode Number 34 of The Extraordinary Life Podcast. In February, I interviewed three women living their own version of extraordinary lives.
[00:00:47] I hope that you have listened to those. If not go back. I'll have another for you next week, we're re-doing the interview tomorrow. And I promise this time [00:01:00] I'll press record. I know that you will absolutely love her and resonate with her. I've gotten such great feedback from these that I'm aiming to have at least one interview a month.
[00:01:14] I hope you've been able to take some lessons and see some aspect of yourself in these women that they inspire you. I'm sure they're really not all that different from you. And we all have so much to teach each other. That's what I love about the group coaching container. Yes. I'm providing the structure and curriculum as a coach, but the wisdom of the group is invaluable.
[00:01:43] I had a terrific question just the other day that I like to address in today's podcast. And that is what if I don't know what my dream is. In other words, What if I [00:02:00] just don't have that vision of the extraordinary life or what I really want or what I'll be doing. And it was such a great question for me because generally I like my clients, whether they're in my group or one-on-one coaching programs to go through the Design Your Decade Workshop first, because I want them to have an idea of what they're working on, but sometimes there is thought work and clarity work to do before you do the design, your decade workshop. And that's fine because the first few months of the high-performance curriculum that I use in my coaching program is spent on what your focus is and creating clarity or more clarity.
[00:02:57] And that doesn't mean that you have to [00:03:00] know, even after those first few months exactly what you want to do with the rest of your life or what your purpose is most don't, but the curriculum is meant to help you get to know yourself better. And that's really important so that you can uncover the direction that you really want to be headed.
[00:03:25] When I chatted further with this person, there were a few more things that we uncovered the first was that this person has several things that they're passionate about, but they're not certain that either of them are their big purpose or if they want that to be their main focus in life or the way that they make.
[00:03:53] And this was a really important realization because sometimes in trying to encourage someone to go [00:04:00] for their dreams or follow their dreams, we look at their hobbies or what lights them up for direction, and those things can help. And I'm going to share some questions at the end to help you with that. I know that for me, just because I like making jam sometimes or knitting a sweater.
[00:04:22] It doesn't mean that I want to pursue either of these as a business and it's okay. Maybe you do want to pursue one of these things or hobbies as a business, but it's okay to let hobbies the hobbies. On the other hand, if you have a creative endeavor or passion that you really love, but you've always believed that you can't pursue it as a profession.
[00:04:50] Because of a belief passed down to you from family or whoever was around you growing up, then I would recommend a second [00:05:00] look. And that brings me to my second point. The second thing we uncovered is that sometimes the filter or lens, we look at our lives through prevent us from seeing our true purpose.
[00:05:17] Even if it's sitting right in front of us, what are the reasons? It might be difficult to be clear on what you really, really want is because you spent most of your life with a handed down vision of your life. What we think we want has sometimes been handed down to us like an old sweater as part of a belief system from our parents or other influential people in our lives when your children and their vision for their lives was also handed down to them and so on.
[00:05:54] And when we see life through the belief systems that were handed down to us, [00:06:00] and we don't ever question those belief systems, Then we think that the way that we look at life, the way we've been taught, either through words or actions is the only way, or is the truth. So if you don't examine those beliefs, then it will be very difficult to change, or even to believe that you can accomplish big dreams or that what you want to do in your life.
[00:06:30] Is worth doing or is practical. And so you save yourself the trouble of dreaming them in the first place. And this can become a pattern that keeps you stuck sometimes for years or even decades. Some people call these limiting beliefs because they do limit you, whether you're aware of them or not. Most of the time, you're not aware of them, they just.
[00:06:59] Quietly in your [00:07:00] subconscious brain and gradually prevent you from fulfilling what you really want to be doing. It's really common. I think probably more common than not to really not know what you really want because of these unconscious filters. Another way to look at that is, think about a filter on a camera, or if you like playing with Instagram filter.
[00:07:27] An image or a scene can look really different depending on what filter you're looking through. So if you are a person who is unclear on what you really want for your life, I would encourage you to do these next exercises or this journaling. Then I'm going to tell you about, in fact, if you have any ambiguity at all, I would recommend that you do.
[00:07:55] I'll also make a downloadable PDF available to you. If you want to [00:08:00] have a hard copy to journal on, just check the link in the show notes for that. As you answer these, as you journal on these, make a note of any automatic reaction. Or thoughts that you might have like negative thoughts that you might have as you go through that just immediately pop into your head like this isn't realistic, or that it'll cost too much, or people like me don't do that.
[00:08:29] Whatever it is, give some thought about where that might be coming from and think about how you can reverse the thoughts. People like me can do this. This is something I can do, whatever it is. Okay.
[00:08:46] The first question I want you to ask yourself is what would you do? Even if you didn't get paid for it? Another way to think of this is if you had no need for [00:09:00] money, what would you do with your time? Not everything that pops into your head is going to be your purpose, or is going to be something that you would do to make money or for a living. Just go through the exercise and don't eliminate anything as you go through it because you never know what might be.
[00:09:23] Number two is, do you have any gifts or skills that you can share with the world? And I want you to not be modest here. I know you have something probably many more than when somethings just think, what do people compliment you on?
[00:09:44] Number three. When in your life, did you feel most creative and what was going on then?
[00:09:52] What were you doing? Who was around you? What was your environment like? And I really want you to complete [00:10:00] the picture in as much detail as possible.
[00:10:06] Number four, what comes naturally to you? For example, when I look back to my college days, I remember helping one of my classmates by talking her through her feelings of, I think it was of not being good enough in a specific science class or some other things that were going on in her life.
[00:10:28] And I also remember tutoring beginning algebra. And I would work on my students' mindset and belief and even relaxation at the beginning of our sessions back when I really didn't know anything about mindset or belief, I just knew that it was important for them to be relaxed before they started working.
[00:10:53] In fact, I've coached women through childbirth. I have no doubt that I'm doing what I [00:11:00] meant to do. I didn't know it completely back then though, especially in college, I just naturally did it. My path to life coaching went through being a childbirth educator, being a doula onto health coaching. And then I finally found the high-performance coaching certification, which I knew was the right life coaching certification for me, as soon as I found.
[00:11:28] And so that leads me into the last question. What have you accomplished in the past that was successful? Why were you successful? Who were the people around you then? What was your environment like? What habits did you have in place? Again, try and fill out the picture as much as possible. So asking yourself, these questions will start to awaken your subconscious mind and really allow you to start [00:12:00] searching within yourself.
[00:12:01] And for that reason, I would recommend repeating this journaling work every day for a week or so, and see what comes up. And then from there set some kind of short-term goal anywhere from 30 to 90 days. To take action on exploring what you can do next in one of these things that you came up with, that could be a possibility, be aware of the, "but what about this" or "the I can'ts" or "it's just not practical."
[00:12:37] Remember this, if you have a desire to be, do or have something, then the opportunity exists for you to pursue it. You just have to be open to seeing it, which takes time. So I hope that helps whether you're completely unclear on what you want or you're [00:13:00] sitting in confusion about what you want. Where you're just looking for a little more clarity in your goals and dreams.
[00:13:08] If you'd like help with the process or want to explore what it would be like to work with me, please make an appointment for a free consult or tend to one of the free group coaching sessions I'm offering through the end of March. The links for both of those will be in the show notes. In any case, I'd love to hear how you deal with this.
[00:13:34] So shoot me an email at Crystal at crystal Obregon coaching.com or DM me on Facebook or Instagram. And those links are in there as well. Have a great rest of your day and I'll see you back here next week. Bye for now. Thank you for listening to the extraordinary life podcast with writer and coach Crystal [00:14:00] Obregon.
[00:14:00] We'd love to connect with you outside of the podcast, too. To find more helpful insights, show notes and more about Crystal. Go to Crystal Obregon.com. O B R E G O N, where you will also find info for the Design Your Decade Workshop. This workshop will help you to stop drifting and start creating. Until next time be extraordinary.