Podcast Final #17
[00:00:00] Welcome to the extraordinary life podcast from the creator of the Extraordinary Life Tribe, Crystal Obregon, the self-development podcast propelling you forward toward your goals. Using science backed high performance habits. Reach the next level in your physical and mental health. See new Heights in your relationships.
[00:00:18] Gain clarity on your purpose and live your extraordinary life. Welcome your host writers, speaker and coach crystal over gone. Hi there. This is Crystal from Crystal Obregon coaching with episode number 17 of the extraordinary life podcast. This week, I'm talking about the six of the high-performance habits as researched by Brendan Burchard and the high performance academy, which is demonstrating courage.
[00:00:54] I personally define demonstrating courage, not as acting in [00:01:00] the absence of fear, but taking action in spite of the fear for the past week, I've been thinking about examples of courage to share with you in this podcast. And truth be told, I thought of so many. When you think about courageous action, you may think of great big actions like a firefighter, saving someone from a burning building.
[00:01:27] Of course, that is craziness. But most of the time I think of demonstrating courage as the smaller actions, we take more often pushing us outside of our comfort zones that add up to an extraordinary life. Well lived. These actions often stretch us to become a better, stronger version of ourselves.
[00:01:52] Demonstrating courage takes on different meaning and results in different courageous actions for everyone. The [00:02:00] important thing is to know what demonstrating courage means to. One way to look at this is to look at your goals and dreams and decide what actions you may need to take to get you there.
[00:02:14] You'll likely find that some of the required actions may require courage from you. I asked the students in my designer decade workshop, what courageous actions they can take now to achieve their tenured. And it's often small steps and actions that add up over time, which is why I think it's so important to look that far ahead.
[00:02:40] Yes. Your goals and dreams will likely shift over that expansive time that if you don't set them in the first place, you won't have a reason to push yourself out of your comfort zone. There are several practices to build your courage muscle that we worked through in my extraordinary life tribe group coaching program, which is [00:03:00] based on the high-performance coaching curriculum I've been certified in.
[00:03:04] But the first and most important is to honor the struggle. I'll focus on this one in today's podcast. And you can also read about this one and the others in Brendon Burchard's book, high performance habits. I would also like to add here that many times we have the opportunity to act with courage when we're experiencing a transition in our lives.
[00:03:30] And while most of my listeners are approaching midlife or so I have a loyal group of listeners amongst my daughter's friends group that have just started college or are getting ready to go. And the next. So if you're from the former group, I'd like you to just stop and take a moment to think of a time in your past when you had a goal or dream and under estimated the struggle it would take to accomplish [00:04:00] it at a time when moving forward wasn't as easy as you thought it would be.
[00:04:05] How did you continue? What resources did you take advantage of? And did you have to course correct? Sometimes that can take even more courage than sticking to your plan. This is a practice that we use in my coaching. We connect to a time in our past when we felt successful, whether it's in being more influential or demonstrating courage or increasing your productivity, and we apply it to what we're working on now.
[00:04:37] So then if you're in the latter group, the younger group, I want you to know that I see you, don't be afraid to ask for help and don't be afraid to course correct. If it feels like the right thing for you, but don't course correct. Only because of fear. I'm comparing these two groups because you understand the first transition of moving away from [00:05:00] home, going to college, and then there'll be another transition after that we experienced these transitions in our lives.
[00:05:07] Whether it's new jobs or we have children, our children get older, they go off to college. All of these are transitions that we experience. And I just want you to see that we can use our experiences and our tools and our perspectives from when we were younger to apply it to those transitions. When. Okay.
[00:05:32] So my example is going to be from the ladder younger group. And I know that it can be easy to think that the struggles you face when you're just starting out as a young adult are easier because you don't have as much to lose. But I would argue that you also don't have the evidence over your lifetime, that in the end, most things do work out.
[00:05:59] I also [00:06:00] know that we've all had to demonstrate courage when we were young adults in some way, shape or form in order to move forward into the unknown. As I share this example, please, like I said earlier, tap into a time in your life when you struggled and made it through. Of course, your struggles are going to be different in your thirties, your forties, your fifties and sixties, but changing your perspective and honoring the struggle to help you move forward will help you at any age.
[00:06:33] So now I'm going to tell a little story once upon a time, there was a teenager named Madeline, Maddie, for sure. Even though she had just started high school. She had a big goal and dream in mind as do many high school students. After she graduated from high school, she wanted to go away to college preferably far away from her family [00:07:00] every day.
[00:07:00] She's that goal to motivate her, to study, to participate in extracurricular activities, such as soccer and hockey. And also to volunteer at events like beach cleanups, but then she realized that she didn't really love soccer anymore. And the only reason she was still playing was to put it on her college resume.
[00:07:23] It didn't feel authentic to her to spend a large amount of time doing something that she wasn't interested in just for her college resume. Because of that realization, she stopped playing soccer and took a harder look at what she was spending her time doing. In fact, I'm guessing she was a little tired of it all and took her eye from her goal for a bit.
[00:07:48] On the other hand, I want you to remember back when I talked about increasing productivity a few weeks ago. And doing the things that matter to you and having the courage to [00:08:00] say no to the things that don't matter, because she had more time, she focused more of her attention on mock trial, which had more to do with her potential career as an attorney or diplomat.
[00:08:13] But because she lost her focus for a little while, she also didn't get into some of the schools she was interested in or get the scholarships she needed for the schools she did get into. But then she was accepted to a school in London. It fit with her dream of being far away from home and had the international relations program she was interested in.
[00:08:37] She was super excited to see her dream of going to school in England being realized she didn't have long to prepare. So she got busy with completing paperwork, applying for her student visa and finding housing. None of this was easy given her timeframe and COVID where everything takes longer and it's more difficult, [00:09:00] but she persevered and she was open to using some of the tools I shared for feeling good.
[00:09:07] They weren't new to her, but sometimes it's harder to use them when you need them most. One of my favorite memories of the summer was a group EFT, tapping meditation, releasing anxiety with the girls on my couch. And then she arrived in London and reality hit while her school is terrific for her major, it's considered a commuter school, which means she's not getting the complete college experience.
[00:09:38] Her apartment is a 30 minute too bright from school. And because of COVID, she doesn't have her roommate and everything else is unfamiliar. Her romanticized vision of going to school in central London and meeting friends easily and going out all the time was very different than the reality of commuting from west London.[00:10:00]
[00:10:00] Like most of us would, she wanted to go home back to her comfort zone of the towns. She's lived in most of her life until she changed her perspective. She chose to focus on what was good. For example, she enjoys riding the tube in the mornings. She relaxes and reads. Instead of scrolling on her phone, she enjoys going grocery, shopping for herself and challenging herself to cook and eat the produce she buys before it rots.
[00:10:29] You're not in California anymore with all that fresh produce. And she enjoys walking in the beautiful London parks, even though she's mostly on her own for now. It's not that the challenge is over, but if she was going to stay in London, she had to rally and change her own attitude. Now I'm sure that every one of you listening has experienced something similar and live to tell the tale.
[00:10:59] About five [00:11:00] years ago towards the beginning of my blogging, I wrote a blog about arriving in Botox, Columbia with my family and having a really hard time with it until I changed my attitude. I'll link to that in the show notes. So Maddie is still in London going to university. I'm sure. Still finish the semester.
[00:11:22] She's using her tools when she can for feeling better. And has also found that blogging about her experience helps her as do the people that comment and support she's demonstrating courage by honoring the struggle and being brave enough to share it. It will be an accomplishment to be proud of no matter what her next step is.
[00:11:46] After listening to her for story. Can you think of a time when taking action towards a goal or dream was harder than you expected it to be, or when unexpected obstacles cropped up, that you had [00:12:00] to work through? Think about how you can apply the lessons you learned there, perspectives you gained, or the tools you used to achieving your current goals and dreams.
[00:12:12] Please do spend some time journaling this. I think you'll be surprised at what you might find. If you like what you've heard, consider signing up for my design, your decade workshop, or schedule a free session with me to find out more about whether working with me is right for you. Next week. I will be sharing an interview with a colleague of mine about how she uses routines and habits to move forward in her life.
[00:12:43] So until then have a great rest of your day. I'll see you in here. Bye for now. Thank you for listening to the extraordinary life podcast with Ryder and coach crystal over gone. We'd love to connect with you outside of the podcast, too. [00:13:00] To find more helpful insights, show notes and more about crystal. Go to crystal dot com that's O B R E G O N, where you will also find info for the design.
[00:13:10] Your decade workshop. This workshop will help you to stop drifting and start creating. Until next time be extraordinary.