Ep 33 Final
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Extraordinary Life Podcast from the creator of the Extraordinary Life Tribe, Crystal Obregon, the self-development podcast propelling you forward toward your goals. Using science backed high performance habits. Reach the next level in your physical and mental health. See new heights in your relationships.
[00:00:18] Gain clarity on your purpose and live your extraordinary life. Welcome your host writer, speaker and coach, Crystal Obregon. Hi there. This is Crystal from Crystal Obregon coaching with Episode Number 33 of the Extraordinary Life Podcast. I have an unplanned break in my interview series. I know I said that I was going to have interviews with extraordinary women for the entire month of February, but if you follow me on social media, you'll have heard about the fact [00:01:00] that I did an entire interview, got to the very end and realized that on the platform that I use, I had not pushed record.
[00:01:10] I'm used to using zoom, which automatically records, but this is a different platform that is better for interviews for podcasts. And I forgot to press record. And I talked about it on Instagram and in the Women's Wellbeing Facebook group. Definitely go back and check those out in one post. I shared a video about.
[00:01:34] Going easy on yourself when you make mistakes, because I felt terrible for wasting this person's time. So about an hour or so later, I decided that I might as well share what I was going through, because I certainly wouldn't want any of you to beat yourself up about it. And I told my interviewee what had happened.
[00:01:57] Of course she was nice about it. [00:02:00] I'm sure it's a bummer for her. But I have to trust that our next interview will be even better. This one was good, but even better than the first one, I decided to do a podcast on optimism and pessimism.
[00:02:20] I'm reading a new book by Gary Vaynerchuk. It's called 12 and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success. I happen to think as I'm reading it, that these emotional ingredients apply to all of our success, whether it's our success in relationships, you know, our significant others or families or community groups, they all are still very important.
[00:02:53] Because basically it's talking about emotional intelligence in a way, if you don't have that [00:03:00] at work, you're not likely to have at home or vice versa. One of the chapters in the book that really resonated with me was the chapter on optimism. The definition of optimism that he shares is hopefulness in confidence about the future or the successful outcome is something I don't know about you, but I am definitely an optimistic person.
[00:03:29] And I really don't think anything's worth doing whether it's marriage or a business or a hobby or whatever. If I don't think that I'm going to have a successful outcome, I've also had not very often. I have had people suggest when I'm optimistic about a situation or a challenge that I'm delusional [00:04:00] because I really do trust always, no matter how hard it is that everything will work out eventually.
[00:04:09] Does for your information, that definition of delusion is a false belief or judgment about external reality held despite in controvertible evidence to the contrary occurring, especially in mental conditions. So I'm definitely not delusional and that's very much different than optimism. And it's actually different than pessimism also.
[00:04:42] So the definition of pessimism is a tendency to see the worst aspect of things, or believe that the worst will happen. A lack of hope or confidence in the future. So pessimism [00:05:00] is really the opposite of optimism. And being delusional. If you're going to apply it to optimism, you can also apply it to pessimism.
[00:05:12] I like Winston Churchill says it perfectly. The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. So I would definitely prefer to err, on that side. So basically an optimist when faced with a problem tends to find the upside to the situation and starts figuring out ways to solve that problem or ways to turn it around a pessimist.
[00:05:44] However, immediately can throw up his hands and yell. That's it. It's all over. I can't handle this anymore. Most of the time, you don't actually get to decide not to handle it anymore. So why not be [00:06:00] optimistic that there is a solution and start trying to find it. The other thing the pessimist will do is distance him or herself from the problem, pretending it doesn't matter.
[00:06:13] This is denial and also doesn't work. In fact, it often makes things worse and what's coming into my head with this is having a teenager that's misbehaving in some way, and you just don't get. To decide that you don't want to handle it anymore and you certainly shouldn't ignore it. We need to be optimistic and give it our attention to find solutions.
[00:06:41] Some people choose pessimism because they're trying to protect themselves from disappointment. They don't want to be let down. So basically they're letting themselves down first and I don't think that's any way to live either. It's been a big couple of [00:07:00] years. It hasn't been easy. I know a lot of people are exhausted.
[00:07:05] They're overwhelmed. It's not easy. I know I've had to remind my kids about some of this and ways to deal with obstacles, everything that's been happening that's overwhelming. And a year or so ago, my daughter was getting really frustrated and pessimistic about global warming and other climate problems.
[00:07:28] And I do agree that it's a big problem is a problem. When I was in high school, 35 years ago, it's become more of a problem. However I told her, if we can believe that there is solutions to the problem, then we're open to the possibility of the solution. We're more able to see it doesn't mean we don't need to take action now.
[00:07:57] And yes, it can be frustrating [00:08:00] when it seems that many people aren't taking action. That they are either throwing up their hands, pretending it doesn't matter, pretending it doesn't exist. But that's when it's helpful to stay in your lane, do what you can do, be a role model for what's possible and spend time with people who are also optimistic and open to solutions.
[00:08:22] I've noticed that a lot of times things turn out according to how we feel about the situation. If you feel like something will go well, or you feel optimistic about it, it usually does go well. The same is true in reverse. When you feel like something's going to go badly, it tends to do just that. Being optimistic actually puts you in the driver's seat.
[00:08:47] You can focus on what you really want, not what might happen. And it really goes back to that analogy of hiking or biking along the edge of a. [00:09:00] You really want to be looking at the trail, not off the cliff because your feet or your bike will go where you're looking. Right? So if you want to stay on the trail, look at the trail.
[00:09:14] I'd like you to think about the following statements, optimists achieve their goals because they never give up optimists attract success. Naturally. Optimists are happier, healthier, and more energetic than pessimists. Optimists are easier to be around and inspiring to be around optimists live longer and suffer from fewer and less severe diseases.
[00:09:47] Besides the above optimists lead a higher quality of life. These are all probably true just by the fact that optimists positive thinking [00:10:00] makes challenging situations, not that bad after all, or you are you getting through them faster because you have confidence in yourself that you will find a solution.
[00:10:14] To be clear, true optimism is not just sitting back thinking positive thoughts and hoping everything will turn out. All right. It's how you see the world positively rather than negatively you face each situation, each problem, and each occasion with a positive attitude. And, you know, deep inside that you'll come out stronger and more resilient after facing challenges or overcoming obstacles.
[00:10:46] And one thing that's helpful to me sometimes is to look back into my past. And yes, I don't think your past defines your future. But if you look back in your past [00:11:00] and look at the obstacles that you overcame, the overwhelming evidence is that you are capable of overcoming obstacles. So why wouldn't you be optimistic?
[00:11:16] This goes with, there have been circumstances that we wouldn't have chosen. But while you can't necessarily choose your circumstances, you can always choose your attitude. When you choose to have a positive attitude and positive thoughts, you're empowering yourself to see the positive side of each challenge.
[00:11:40] You're empowering yourself to see the good in people and you're helping them to see the good in life as well. And when you have a positive attitude, And positive thoughts. You do take action to further improve your life. And those around you [00:12:00] doesn't mean that you won't encounter difficult times trauma loss challenges.
[00:12:05] What it does mean is that you will have more power on your side to help you through the tough times. You'll bounce back faster and make better choices rather than letting life wash over you. You'll learn to be proactive instead of reactive. If you're listening to this and you're thinking I'm just not naturally optimistic and positive, it's just not me.
[00:12:32] Don't worry. You can learn how to use your thoughts to change your attitude and to change the way you feel. It's not necessarily going to be easy. Some days will be challenging, but you can do it one thought at a time. Becoming more optimistic is one of the most important actions you can take to improve your life.
[00:12:57] Yes. I know it doesn't always [00:13:00] come automatically. It takes effort. It takes deliberate conscious awareness of your thoughts and feelings, and then acting on that awareness. So here's a practice for you. And in fact, I did an interview with Kai D-ring a few months ago. And one of the practices that her coach had told her was to set alarms for random times.
[00:13:27] And then when the alarm went off, jot down what she was thinking at that time. And she found, she said that a lot of times she was a low level irritated. So it really helped her to start shifting those thoughts in that vein because they're practice for you each time you think a negative thought, just stop right there and turn it around [00:14:00] to find the positive aspect of the situation.
[00:14:04] Do this each time and then build on it. It will become a habit to be more positive and upbeat about your life. As you become more optimistic, you'll gain clarity on what you really want for your life, because you'll see more possibilities and you'll be more optimistic. And positive that you can achieve the dreams, the goals that you want to, and you'll start taking the steps to obtain your goals or your dreams.
[00:14:39] Whereas the other way, if you're pessimistic, then seriously, why even try? Right. So I can help. In my extraordinary life tribe group coaching program, I use the high-performance habits and curriculum to create self-awareness and positive momentum. [00:15:00] Me and the community of women also help you through any thoughts you might be having that you find more difficult to turn around that may have you sabotaging your results.
[00:15:14] If you're listening to this in February, March of 2022, I'm offering free group coaching sessions on Thursdays. So there'll be six total the last few days of February and then everything. But the last Thursday of March, unless I changed my mind, I might do another one during that one hour group coaching session completely free.
[00:15:38] No strings attached. I'll be spending about 30 minutes teaching and coaching. And this is all interactive. It's not a webinar, it's a zoom room. We're going to all be in there. So I'll spend 30 minutes teaching and coaching, and then I'll tell you more about the extraordinary life tribe. And then the rest of the time we'll be open for [00:16:00] Q and A.
[00:16:01] The link to join is in the show notes. I hope you gained something from this and can. More positive and optimistic. So I will see you in here next week. Bye for now. Thank you for listening to the Extraordinary Life Podcast with writer and coach, Crystal Obregon. We'd love to connect with you outside of the podcast, too.
[00:16:25] To find more helpful insights, show notes and more about Crystal. Go to crystalobregon.com that's O B R E G O N, where you will also find info for the Design Your Decade Workshop. This workshop will help you to stop drifting and start creating. Until next time be extraordinary.