Podcast Episode #62
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Extraordinary Life Podcast from the creator of the Extraordinary Life Tribe, Crystal Obregon, the Self-Development Podcast, propelling you forward toward your goals using science backed high performance habits. Reach the next level in your physical and mental health. See new heights in your relationships.
[00:00:18] Gain clarity on your purpose and live your extraordinary life. Welcome your host writer, speaker and coach, Crystal Obregon. Hi there. This is Crystal of Crystal Obregon Coaching with Episode Number 62 of the Extraordinary Life Podcast. This week I'd really like to talk about words or more specifically the thoughts that go through your head because they matter.
[00:00:49] They really do. We're often exposed to a lot of negativity in the news and in other media. You can try and avoid that, but you really [00:01:00] shouldn't have to be exposed to negativity in your own head. Your inner dialogue, otherwise known as the voice in your head, is one of the biggest influences on your confidence and self-esteem, and also your results.
[00:01:18] If your self talk is positive and empowering, that's terrific. Good job. It didn't happen by accident. Either you grew up with people that taught you to speak to yourself that way, or more likely you've developed a habit of speaking to yourself that way, and you're life likely reflects that positivity.
[00:01:41] But if your self-talk tends to be on the negative side, which is the case for a lot of people, then I'm going to share some tips today that can help you turn it around. Researchers from the National Institute of Health estimate that we think about 50,000 to [00:02:00] 70,000 thoughts a day, and about 80% of them are negative.
[00:02:05] So the first thing to know is that you aren't your thoughts. The voice in your head can say a lot of things that aren't true. This thought chatter is a process that happens when your brain isn't otherwise engaged, and the good news is that you can gain control over it. Remember that podcast I keep referencing about the thought model and how your thoughts create your feelings, which cause you to take action or not take action, and that creates your results.
[00:02:39] So many people think that their feelings are like the weather and that they have no control over them. They're changeable. You get what you get. But if you get a handle on your thoughts, the next thing that happens is you change the feelings you experience. That little voice in your head [00:03:00] has a huge impact on how you feel and can even impact your mental health and your physical health.
[00:03:06] For example, if you're constantly telling yourself how tired you are, you're naturally going to feel even more tired. Or if you're feeling stressed out and all you do is remind yourself of everything that's stressing you out, you are gonna feel even more stressed. Sound familiar? But when you turn those thoughts around so that you begin to focus on the positive side of things, you'll start to feel better immediately, sometimes even in a matter of seconds.
[00:03:38] Here's why it's so important. Constantly mulling over your problems or negative feelings can turn into what's called ruminating thinking. Chewing on your thoughts and negative feelings is pretty much the same thing as what it gets its name from. Cows are ruminant animals and they [00:04:00] constantly chew their cud, which is actually partially digested grass from their first stomach.
[00:04:08] So just like cows, if you ruminate on your thoughts long enough, it can take a sour turn. After a while, the negative thought loop can turn into a habit that replays itself automatically. Like when you're tired and constantly remind yourself of it, it gets harder and harder to pull yourself out of it, and it happens more than you think, and you probably don't even realize you're doing it. According to the American Psychological Association,
[00:04:39] many times we get into this thought loop, because we believe thinking about a problem is the same as doing something to solve it. But of course, as you know, that's not always the case. In fact, according to the APA, thinking about something over and over again can actually [00:05:00] get in the way of making things better.
[00:05:02] It can negatively affect your thinking and your ability to solve problems. Plus it's linked to depression. So what can you do? Here are a few things that you can do to turn the negative thought chatter that derails you into something empowering, that helps you reach your goals, or even just helps you be a happier person.
[00:05:27] First off is to recognize the negative thought. You have to be aware it's there in the first place before you can change it. So start noticing your thoughts and pay attention and notice how often negative thoughts show up. Often you'll notice you have some thoughts on repeat. As soon as you notice the negative self-talk happening, then call it out.
[00:05:54] Don't criticize yourself for having the negative chatter. Talk to it. Tell her you're not [00:06:00] interested in the negative thought. It, it could even help to think about the five year old you and as an adult, what would you say to a person speaking those thoughts to that small child? You'd say something to get him to stop.
[00:06:18] Well, say that to your negative thoughts. Like, hey, I hear you in there and you can't talk to me that way.
[00:06:26] Next up, if you notice yourself falling into negative thought patterns, turn them around fast. For example, say you come home from work and you're feeling stressed, tired, and grumpy. You might have planned to do a workout, but your internal chatter is telling you to skip it.
[00:06:45] Maybe it's telling you that you deserve to hit the couch and watch TV and that that will actually make you feel better. But as I'm sure you know, doing that won't actually make you feel better. It'll probably make you feel worse. [00:07:00] Or you might even tell yourself that you should start dinner or clean house or do a couple of errands instead of doing your planned workout.
[00:07:07] Clearly, it'd be nice to get those things done, but they probably also won't make you feel better. So redirect those thoughts by telling yourself that your workout will lift you out of that mood and give you the boost you need. Then once you're finished, you'll probably wanna skip the couch and you'll have more positive energy to do your chores.
[00:07:32] The next tip is to take a more proactive approach. Try replacing the thought ahead of time. So instead of redirecting the negative self- talk, after it starts, come up with some positive thoughts that have meaning to you. And these are known as affirmations. Find an affirmation that resonates with how you want to feel versus how you do not want to feel.
[00:07:59] [00:08:00] For example, "I am confident and unstoppable", or "I feel strong and motivated," or "I'm really proud of how I'm doing with my fitness routine." Or" I can't wait to start the workout when I get home", or "I'm capable of anything I set my mind to." Write them down somewhere where you can see them and repeat them to yourself several times a day.
[00:08:25] You could write it on a post-it note and stick it under your steering wheel. If you drive home from work and wanna do the planned workout, write something that reminds yourself that you're going to enjoy doing the workout. That's a few ideas of how you can turn those negative thoughts around, and I hope it helps.
[00:08:49] If you didn't take notes. I know I usually listen to podcasts when I'm doing something else, maybe even working out. Then just head on over to the written form of [00:09:00] my blog, at Crystal Obregon.com forward slash blog. You can read the written version over there. Next week, I'm going to share how to help prime your brain to be more receptive to the positive messages you're sending it.
[00:09:16] If you want help in the meantime, turning your thoughts around and achieving your goals, please do make an appointment for a free consultation to learn more about working together. I have a proven process that works. And I have a few one-on-one coaching spots available, and I will also be starting a new group coaching program this fall.
[00:09:41] There'll be a link to make an appointment in the show notes, or you're welcome to DM me and I'll get it to you. That's it for now. I hope you have some good positive thoughts this week, and have a great rest of your day, and I will see you in here next week. Bye for [00:10:00] now. Thank you for listening to the Extraordinary Life Podcast with writer and coach, Crystal Obregon.
[00:10:07] We'd love to connect with you outside of the podcast too. To find more helpful insights, show notes, and more about Crystal, go to Crystal Obregon.com. O B R E G O N, where you'll also find info for the Design Your Decade Workshop. This workshop will help you to stop drifting and start creating. Until next time, be extraordinary.