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Have you ever wondered why you’re struggling to achieve a goal when you want it so badly? I’ve been hearing a lot of people struggling with this, which is why my podcast has been heavy on the cheerleading lately. You definitely are not alone! The struggle to move from what you don’t want into what you do want is more common than you might think. So why does it happen, and what can you do about it? I have some answers. 

The Struggle Is Real

When I work with clients who are feeling stuck and just can’t seem to reach the goals they so desperately want, they feel like they are banging their heads against a wall. “I want this so bad! Why can’t I make it happen!?” Very often, it turns out that they are the ones holding themselves back, though they don’t see it. (Hooray for an outside perspective!)

The trick to ending this stagnant situation is to take action… but when you’re stuck, you’re stuck! Something needs to change to get you out of the mud ...

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The other day, my yoga teacher Kofi said “The Yogi is someone who takes responsibility for the thoughts that go through their mind.” I love the simplicity and deep meaning behind this quote, and it fits perfectly with my recent podcasts on managing your thoughts. This week, I want to talk about managing your thoughts when things aren’t going your way. 

Balance is a Myth

I find that many of my clients come to me feeling overwhelmed about having to do it all, while also wanting more out of their life. It feels like they can’t keep up in life as it is, so going after their bigger dreams seems impossible. My coaching approach is an active process, and I know (and want you to accept) that your circumstances and the balance between the different parts of your life will always be shifting. 

What this means is that I encourage you and show you how to take action in your life, so you can learn as you go. Sometimes, you’ll spend more time and ...

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I recently had the opportunity to interview the personal trainer Jenny Roth of Coaching Character. She is full of life and has built her unconventional business by breaking the rules and on the radical belief that you’re the expert of your own body. 

The Real Expert

There are a lot of experts out there doing the things they are best at, helping others with their talent, and making a living at it. As a personal trainer, Jenny is an expert in strength training and movement, but she takes a different approach. Rather than showing up to each session and telling you what your body needs, she wants to listen to your body first. 

In the early years as a personal trainer, she saw a lot of people being dismissed by “the experts”. The younger, fitter trainers would dismiss the complaints, concerns, and experiences of their usually older clients when they shared how they felt. It really struck Jenny that anyone, even herself, would think that they knew...

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As a coach, I spend a lot of time working with women to get clear on their dreams so they can start making them come true. Even after they find that clarity, however, many women still struggle with fear surrounding those dreams. 

Some of those fears are: 

• What others will think
• That they can’t possibly achieve them
• Their dream is silly or frivolous
• They’ll have to work 24/7 to make it come true
• They’ll never afford their dream
• And on it goes

I recently interviewed a coach, mentor, and healer who knows those feelings all too well. Nafissa Shireen left her business career behind and had a big dream of becoming a coach and of owning a farm. She was also afraid of horses, but desperately wanted to work with them. Despite the many fears she had surrounding her dreams, Nafissa did the inside work to make them all come true. She now has her dream farm, Believe and See Ranch, works with horses all day fear-free, and has also woven t...

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I recently took on a challenge called 75 Hard to build my mental strength. Essentially, the challenge is designed to help you get better at what you’re going to say you’re going to do. I decided to do it because over the past few years I started breaking little promises and appointments I’d set for myself, and was starting to feel the consequences. The challenge entails doing the following for seventy-five days in a row: exercise twice per day for forty-five minutes each, drink one gallon of water, read ten pages of a personal development book, follow a diet of my choice (I chose no gluten, dairy, or added sugar), and no alcohol. I made it eleven days. 

The challenge is extreme, and I know it’s not for everyone, but I was still disappointed because I was really excited to see and feel the outcome after seventy-five days. After reflecting on why I took the challenge on in the first place and the reasons I failed, I decided to start agai...

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Last week I led you through a process of evaluating and tracking where you are in your life and what needs to be changed using the six High-Performance Habits. Once you start tracking them, it gives you a great baseline to work from and keeps you on track. They’re so important to creating your dream life that we spend six months working on them in The Extraordinary Life Tribe and keep coming back to them. For the other six months, we work on ways to activate your life. These are called the Charge Sessions and are what help you create an engaged, energetic, and enthusiastic life. 

Activating your extraordinary life starts by thinking about and strategically managing your long-term energy, enthusiasm, and engagement in life. To achieve this, you must decide to move beyond the boundaries and beliefs that you or others may have set out for you, and decide what you really want from your life. 

There are ten human drives that are the activa...

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I talk a lot about envisioning your goals and dreams for ten years from now. This is because while I like to live in the moment, I believe you can live best in the moment when you know who you want to be, what you want to do, and what you want to have in the future. I also know that if you’re not mindful of these things, ten years will still pass by - but without any direction. I know, you have kids to raise, dogs to walk, chores to do, a job, and relationships to nurture… So how do you manage your big dreams alongside daily life? 

Every single one of my clients struggles with this at one point or another, so know that you aren’t alone. Also know that any feelings of guilt (mom guilt, partner guilt, career guilt, etc.) are common as well. For some reason, women have been sold the idea that we can do it all; I’m here to tell you that not only do you not have to, but you shouldn’t. This is your life, and it should be amazing! You don’t n...

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As much as I love the power of a good goal, I’m not usually a proponent of New Year’s resolutions or setting goals just once a year. But if you aren’t in the habit of goal setting or if you need to revisit your goals, now is the perfect time to get started. The big draw to setting goals is obviously having something to work towards, but there are many other reasons you should incorporate goals into your life. In fact, I have seven! 

The College Comparison

Before we get to the list of reasons you should be a goal-setter, I want to give you a bit of insight into the power of goals. Think back to your late teens or your early twenties. Very likely you were going to college and had some sort of four year plan to finish school and start living your young-adult life. Along with college came a curriculum of courses that you needed to complete, so it was easy to see the next steps and stay focused on graduating. 

Now come back to the present...

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Have you ever wondered how some people seem to have everything they dream of, while for others their dreams remain unrealized or forgotten entirely? I’m here to tell you that it’s not a question of luck or genetics, but rather the strategies people use to get what they want. Below I share seven strategies you can use to help turn your dreams into reality, so you can stop wishing and start achieving the things you really want. 

1. Understand What’s Important to You

Think back to a time when you’ve been really excited about something big in your life. Maybe it was getting married, buying a house, going on a vacation, or even getting into college. You likely felt a lot of energy and motivation surrounding this goal, and the excitement helped you take the actions to get there. 

Unfortunately, we don’t often use this type of momentum on a regular basis to get what we want out of life. This can occur when your goals don’t match your values...

High Performance Habit #6: Demonstrating Courage

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We’ve reached the sixth and final High Performance Habit in this series of blog posts, which is demonstrating courage. I’m sure your mind went straight to dramatic ideas of courage, like rescuing someone from a burning building; but in the context of building habits to create an extraordinary life, courage is made up of the smaller actions we take that push us beyond our comfort zone. To me, being courageous is stretching to become a better, stronger version of yourself - and it’s something we can all learn to do. 

Find Your Version of Courage

Demonstrating courage will look different for each person, since we all have different goals we want to achieve. In my Design Your Decade workshop, I ask my students to look at their goals and dreams, and identify what courageous actions they can take now to achieve their ten year dreams. More often than not, it’s very small, brave steps that will add up over ...